[ti]Private[/ti]Grief is an Odd Thing...

[Storm]

Finchtuft
IvyClan | Medicine Cat Apprentice | She-Cat | 51 Moons | Heterosexual

A sour look crossed Finchtufts face, her pelt spiking at his comment.  This young brat really dared to spit an insult like that at her so casually.  Her blocky paws flexed, but contained her claws.  She hadn't served her clan as a warrior for as long as she did for mousebrains to be so unappreciative.  The feline took a breath to calm herself, at least they were chatting now- it was progress, she'd have to put him in his place some other time when this grief had passed.  

She held her tongue as she had no kind response.  The she-cats ears twitched forward as he answered her question.  She had started off with a soft smile at his determination, but it faded as his words moved to darker thoughts.  Again, Finchtuft took a moment to gather the way she wanted to proceed and finally she hummed, "Hmm... we all fall a few times in our life.  The last step in this life is falling actually, from battle or to illness, however we all are destined to go.  Don't forget we can rise too though." The calicos chin tilted upward, her blue gaze falling closed peacefully, "He's watching over our clan from the stars now, but he's especially watching you.  Be sure to do him proud so when you join him he doesn't have to much to yell at you for." 

Death was a topic that made many uncomfortable, but it was an easy topic for Finchtuft.  Hopefully her words came off wise as they were meant to be, but maybe they were to blunt for the grieving apprentice. 

[Broadwaykat]

The idea of Flametalon yelling at him, even in death, was almost oddly comforting; and not something that Martenpaw had thought of before. Of course, he knew that Starclan was supposed to be able to watch and see everything; in fact it was one of the first things a naughty kit was taught to look out for. But at the same time he had always equated with them forgiving everything...not staying the same in life.

He knew that if it was Flame, and not Heron, who had been trying to nudge him out of his stuper, he would have likely allowed them to. Namely because Flame would have all but grabbed him by the scruff and dragged him from his nest - forgetting formalities or the fact that Martenpaw was rapidly growing if not as large then close to what the older warrior was. That he was younger and faster (and, at least in his own mind, smarter) than the old tom was nothing to Flametalon - he would have knocked sense into him no matter what.

He still didn't want to get up though, but admittedly he turned his head to Finchtuft and focused on her with slightly narrowed, incredulous eyes.

"So what - he's gonna come back and haunt me or something? Ain't it all supposed to be happy hunting when you're in Starclan - so why'd he care about me, huh? He'd have sooner call me a pain in his tail than lookout for me!"

And yet Martenpaw was clearly torn up over his passing. Life was strange.

[Storm]

Finchtuft
IvyClan | Medicine Cat Apprentice | She-Cat | 51 Moons | Heterosexual

Her ear twitched as he turned to look at her finally.  "Well if he doesn't I will," she chuckled a bit louder, nearing her normal tone again.  "I'll come and annoy you everyday and if you hide from me I'll win because I've finally gotten you out of this den."  Her gaze meeting his, playful but serious.  "And if you find some other place to pout then I'll hunt you down, you won't get away from me." The she-cat scooted closer to the cat now, she placed a paw on his flank softly this time, comforting the tom.  Her voice was softer again now, "Life is good in StarClan, but that doesn't mean you stop loving the ones you've left behind.  Trust me, Flametalon is grieving leaving you behind but he can only hope you grow and pass on the knowledge he shared with you."  

Finchtuft tilted her head to the apprentice.  What had he learned that he could pass on to an apprentice of his own?  If only he completed his training and became an Ivyclan warrior.  

[Broadwaykat]

Martenpaw had been determined to hang on to his funk for a long time - but even he had to grudgingly admit that Finchtuft had a point. He still didn't exactly believe her, even as she was telling him about how great Starclan was, about how they were all supposed to do good things to make him proud. He snorted at the idea of the she-cat Medicine Cat coming back down and haunting him; how did she plan to do that if she was still hanging around.

"So that's it, eh? The answer to everything? Just do good and somehow make him proud? Fat lot of good that'll do me; it's not like I can speak to Starclan, can I?"

But Finchtuft and Lilydawn could, couldn't they? Maybe, just maybe..he could ask them to speak for them. That sounded stupid to his own ears and he didn't say it out loud, but he gave Finchtuft a sort of...look. What'd she say to that, huh?

[Storm]

Finchtuft
IvyClan | Medicine Cat Apprentice | She-Cat | 51 Moons | Heterosexual

Finchtuft offered the tom a soft look as he shot her more skeptical questions.  His final one made her posture stiffen noticeably.  Her blue eyes met his look filled with discomfort, maybe even a hint of guilt.  The calico pulled her foot back beneath her, swallowing with some difficulty as she lowered her gaze back to her paws.  She'd only made the trip to speak with StarClan once with Lilydawn so far.  It would be a lie to say it hadn't freaked her out a bit, sharing tongues with those of the past.  Especially considering her only experience so far was filled with a prophecy concerning the whole forest.  Finchtuft held her tongue, her connection was supposed to be a sacred part of her new role and she simply didn't want to.  Even if StarClan did allow it, she wouldn't be a messenger for the dead.  

Looking back on Martenpaw her face was sterner again, hoping that would be enough of an answer for him.  "We all have to learn to let go Martenpaw," It was easy for her to say.  She was good at moving on for the most part, but she knew others found it a more difficult task even if she didn't understand why.  "If you live in the past, you'll have no future."

With that the she-cat stood, turning to exit the apprentice den.  Finchtuft paused, head turning back over her shoulder to meet his eyes.  With a soft sigh her features warmed up for him again.  His stubbornness reminded her of herself, she could only hope he wouldn't hold it against her.  "Join me for breakfast tomorrow," she mewed with a grin.  It was a request, but he should know that if he refused she'd be back to annoy him again.  The Medicine Cat Apprentice strode out with a twitch of her stubby wisp of a tail.  

[Broadwaykat]

Martenpaw didn't get an answer right away from Finchtuft, but something in her face seemed to clue him in to striking a nerve. A little bit of self satisfaction hit him there, to see a Medicine Cat, someone who was usually so high and mighty, be at a loss for words.

But really, what she said stuck in his craw more than he would care to admit; and while she parted the conversation as he had wanted her too, it was with a direct order - join her tomorrow for something to eat. He flicked his tail in an irritated way as she left, letting out a little derisive snort as an answer, but he found himself unable to rest in the wallowing pity he had felt for himself in the previous months - at least, not as comfortable as he had once been able to.

When morning came, despite his better judgement, he would finally leave the den on his own. Small steps - but steps, at least, in a right direction.