[ti]Private[/ti]A Decision to Last a Lifetime

[silverfang218]

Starlingpaw had been thinking for a very long time. It was a decision she had to make before it was too late, before she was stuck forever. It was a hard decision to make; Starling wasn’t stupid, and she had an idea of how hard life would be if she did what she planned. Even so, it was a risk she felt she had to take. This was a journey she had to make, for herself and no one else.

Yet she didn’t want to cut ties entirely. It… she couldn’t bring herself to turn her back entirely on her family. She had to tell someone, so who did she trust the most? Scorchpaw, of course. Scorchpaw could be a bit strange, but she trusted her brother more than anyone. He wouldn’t dare tell Owlstar or Rainfur. So as she had been walking to get freshkill she had beckoned Scorchpaw to her side and very, very quietly whispered in his ear (or where she thought his ear was anyways, since it’s a little tough to tell with his fluff) so that no one else could hear, “Meet me at the thundertrail in the middle of the woods in three days. Don’t tell anyone.” She had brushed by him after that, a knowing smile directed towards him. She had brushed against Shadowgaze too before she left to go ‘hunting’, told him not to worry though he had given her a confused look. And lastly she had found Rainfur; she had brushed against his side and told him she loved him so much. Then she left on what was supposed to be a hunting trip. She had never returned.

That was three days ago and now she sits on the thundertrail waiting for Scorchpaw’s arrival. Her ears are perked, listening for the sound of a monster on the trail or pawsteps. Her nose is on alert; she can’t be discovered by any cat but Scorch, and she’s all too eager to see her brother again. Three days without her siblings or parents has driven her to need companionship, yet not enough for her to go back. Clan life wasn’t for her, Starling had realized. The rules and expectations grated against Starling’s more free, independent nature, and Starling knows that if she goes back she’ll regret it for the rest of her life. She is more slender than before, as freshkill is all the more precious when you have to catch it yourself, but she looks much happier. Even with the bit of loneliness, even with a bit of hunger, even though she’s only been doing this for a couple days… she’s found where she belongs.

Finally her nose detects a hint of her brother’s scent. A grin crosses her face and she hops forward off the thundertrail to greet him. She figures him and the rest of her family have been worried sick, and she wants Scorch at least to know that she’s alright. “I’m over here, Scorchpaw.” She says quietly, hoping that it’s loud enough for him to hear while she glances around to make sure they are alone here.

[Meow]

Scorchpaw had been confused when his sister had called him over, only to whisper a time and place in his ear. Her words had only really sunk in when Starlingpaw never returned from her hunting trip, and no one in her family seemed to know where she was. It had been several days of misery for Scorchpaw's parents and siblings, but Scorchpaw hadn't mentioned, not to anyone, what Starlingpaw had told him before she left. He didn't need to be a rocket scientist to know that his sister had abandoned IvyClan, or to know that she wasn't coming back. Scorchpaw had noticed that Starlingpaw was a free spirit, someone who couldn't be controlled, and that she might have difficulty thriving in a place where she was watched so closely. He'd hoped he wouldn't have to say goodbye to his sister so soon, but it was perhaps for the best that she left now. Starlingpaw needed to mature on her own, away from the eyes of their parents, and Scorchpaw would have to respect her choice.

When the three days had passed, Scorchpaw made sure to slip away from camp without alerting anyone. His large, fluffy paws carried him deep into the woods, a bit of nervous energy quickening his pace. He could only hope that his sister was waiting at the thundertrail, as safe and strong as ever. Thankfully, as he approached the trail, he caught a hint of Starlingpaw's scent, confirming that she was, in fact, here. Scorchpaw momentarily came to a stop as he glanced around, searching for a glimpse of her figure, only to be alerted of her position by her quiet call. The tom turned toward her voice, his yellow gaze seeming to light up as Starling came into view. "Dear sister," Scorchpaw purred, stepping forward to greet her, "such distress I hath felt over thy well-being." Scorchpaw couldn't help rubbing his cheek against hers affectionately, simply happy to see her alive and, as far as he could tell, okay.

[silverfang218]

Starling purrs as Scorchpaw comes into view. She had been worried that he wouldn’t show or he would bring Owlstar with him. Of course, her worries were quickly proven silly concerns. Her brother knew better than that; he wouldn’t betray her trust like that.

“I’m sorry I worried you. All of you.” She murmurs as she affectionately rubs against her brother’s side. She hadn’t wanted to worry everyone, but she knew if she told anyone else… well, it would have been counterproductive, she’s sure. “Sorry I’m dragging you into this; I don’t want to get you in trouble, but I didn’t want to leave without saying anything to anyone and I didn’t know who else I could trust to keep this quiet.” She doesn’t ever remember seeing Scorchpaw attempt to be sneaky, so she hopes for his sake he can get in and out of camp without drawing attention.

“But it’s really nice to see you again, Scorchpaw. I missed you so much.” She grins and tackles Scorch with a soft giggle. She feels herself sink into Scorch’s glorious fluff as she tries to pull him to the ground, wanting to play and romp around like they sometimes did when they were little kits.

[Meow]

Scorchpaw's deep, rumbling purr grew louder as Starling returned his affection, apologizing for the worry she had caused her family members. Scorchpaw truly couldn't be upset over his sister's decision to bring him into this- rather, he was almost honored that Starling had chosen to trust him. "Thou has't no sins to atone for, dear sister. All I needeth to beest content is to knoweth that thee art well, " Scorchpaw answered quietly. "As long as thee wish me to keepeth thy confidence, I wilt not inform a soul. " Scorchpaw pulled away for a moment to look to Starling seriously, the warmth and relief in his gaze enhancing his sincerity.

The seriousness didn't last long, though, as his purr grew louder when Starling tackled him. The tom offered no resistance as his sister pulled him down with her, seeming to be absorbed into his sea of fur as a quiet laugh left his lips. Scorchpaw hit the ground with a soft thud, starting to playfully wrestle with his sister as he batted at her face with his paws, doing his playful-best to escape her fluffy clutches. "Thee knoweth better than to challenge me, Starlingpaw, " Scorchpaw purred, beyond happy to be playing with his sister once more. 

[silverfang218]

Starling giggles as Scorchpaw’s fluffy paws bat at her face; her ears go back as she bats at her brother’s nose. After a few moments, she pulls herself over the top of him, burying herself in Scorch’s deep mane. She gives Scorch a happy grin though she momentarily serious as she responds to his promise to keep this secret. “If there’s anyone you trust, you really trust, to keep my secret and they want to see me, then you can tell them. But I’m sure we can both imagine what would happen if most of the warriors or, StarClan forbid, mother find me out here.”

Her seriousness quickly fades away as she basks in the reunion with her brother. He had always seemed a bit strange, but if ever a cat looked past his strange speech they’d find a pretty normal cat. He could be pretty hard to understand at times, but Starling usually tries to do her best.
She leans up to touch noses with Scorch with a mischievous smile, totally willing to galavant around with her bro if he is down.

[Meow]

Scorchpaw snorted as Starling batted at his nose, only serving to tickle it as he did his best to hold in a sneeze, causing him to hold a paw up in defense. Soon, though, she seemed to decide that she was done batting at him, and she instead chose to bury herself in his fur, something many cats seemed to enjoy doing when face-to-face with his fluff. As Starling let him know that he didn't have to keep her whereabouts a secret from everyone, Scorchpaw gave her a slow nod. He knew exactly what would happen if Owlstar were to find her- he wouldn't put it past his mother to simply sit on her and never move until she promised to come back to IvyClan. As much as he would miss Starling's presence in the apprentice's den, he didn't want her to be unhappy.

No matter how much it hurt him to keep her secret, Scorchpaw wouldn't tell anyone. He believed that Starling knew what was best for herself.

Scorchpaw then let out a content sigh as silence fell over them for a few moments, until Starling moved to touch noses with him, a familiar mischievous glint in her eyes. Scorchpaw blinked at Starlingpaw... he'd never been one for "hanging out", though he was sure she was inviting him to spend more time with her. It then dawned on him that tonight would be their last night together for a long time, if Starling wanted to escape from IvyClan completely. Starling would need to go find her own life, away from him and IvyClan, and they wouldn't be able to spend every day together, as the OwlRain siblings always had.

"... would thee like to wend for a walketh, Starling? I was told about an abandoned twoleg nest that I'd like to tour with thee, if 't be true thou art up for 't."

[silverfang218]

“That sounds like an amazing idea, Scorchpaw. Lead the way, sweet brother of mine.” She purrs; she plans on showing him to her little den that she’s hidden away so he can find her later should he just need to find her… but it would hard for her to adjust to not being constantly surrounding by loved ones. She wants to make the most of every second she spends with Scorchpaw. She just can’t possibly let him go without a small adventure.

She reluctantly swims out of Scorch’s fluff, flopping onto the ground next to Scorch before pulling herself to her paws with a huff while her playful gaze turns back to the mound of fluff at her paws. As Scorch attempts to get up to lead the way, as he was commanded by his sis, Starling flicks Scorch in the nose with her tail fluff. She likes messing with him, okay.

[Meow]

Scorchpaw was happy to hear that Starling was pleased with his plan- he'd always wanted to steal off into the night with someone close to him, playing and talking without a care in the world. Scorchpaw waited for Starling to extract herself from his fur before getting to his paws himself, though his progress was momentarily stopped as a tail brushed his nose, pulling a sneeze out of the apprentice. The tom sent his sister an answering playful glare as he rubbed his nose. "Touch my nose one more time, and I will show thee no mercy, dear sister," Scorchpaw warned, brushing past her to lead the way. For now, Scorchpaw would try to be the "bigger man"... he wouldn't let his sister's antics distract him for long.

Also, Scorchpaw was kind of eager to check out the abandoned nest. Several apprentices had told him stories about a crazy, territorial loner who lived there, protecting some great treasure. He wouldn't let this opportunity slip. Now he had someone to back him up if things went south, and he would see whatever said "crazy" loner was hiding.

"I am overjoyed to knoweth thee art safe. Mother and father has't been stressing ov'r thy absence," Scorchpaw mewed. Now that they were past their greetings, Scorchpaw wanted to let his sister know how her family felt about her disappearance... and, of course, he needed to know why she'd chosen to leave when she had. They had the whole night to have fun- now was the time for answers. "Father is convinced thee wast spirited hence by rogue fiends- methinks that gent might killeth himself with his worry for thee. I am not upset with thee, sister, but methinks I am justified in questioning thee of thy motives." Scorchpaw sent a single glance towards Starling as he starting leading the way, heading in the direction that would lead them to the edge of the forest, where the overgrown nest was said to be. "Why didst thee leaveth without a word of warning, Starlingpaw? Wast thither... something that upset thee? Something someone didst?"

[silverfang218]

Starling playfully brushes against Scorchpaw, giving him a look of mock shock when he claims he’ll have no mercy should she touch his nose again. She’ll have to try and flick his nose again...but later. Once he feels like he’s safe from his sister’s fluffy tail. She is, of course, intrigued by Scorchpaw’s idea of an abandoned twoleg den, but she’s so giddy at their reunion that she just can’t help herself. She can be just as silly and playful as any kit when she’s not trying to show someone up.

But she figured she would have to give Scorchpaw some answers. That was a small part of the reason of why she invited him out here, to let him know that she was not only safe but that this was something she had to do. She sighs as she tells him that he’s concerned for Rainfur; she knew of all her family members, her dad would take her disappearance the hardest. But… now that she thinks about it… it might be possible for her to catch Rainfur and let him know she’s okay. Possible, but both risky and difficult at best. She’ll just have to see what she can do.

Her tone grows very serious as she tries hard to explain herself. “I’m… a bit on the independent side, so I don’t really fit in with the clan lifestyle. There wasn’t any particular event or cat that upset me, more of just a growing feeling that I didn’t belong. I’ve kind of felt that ever since we were younger, and it has been eating at me for moons now. I love you and the rest of our family, so leaving camp that day was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I stressed about it for several nights before I left… but I knew if I didn’t leave when I did, I never would be able to. I’d never manage to work up that willpower again, and I’d end up unhappy in a place I simply didn’t belong. Even after only a couple nights out here… Scorchpaw, I just fit.” She wants him to understand; it would be difficult to not notice that Scorch was always an outcast too, so of all her family members, she thinks he’ll have the best chance of understanding. Though, she can also admit that it’s a pretty difficult thing to comprehend unless one has actually been in that place before. “It’s a tough concept unless you’ve been there too. I would expect you to question my motives; it’d be pretty weird if I just left and you were fine with it, no questions or concerns whatsoever.”

[Meow]

The tom wouldn't say so just yet, but he understood his sister's reasons well... the feeling of being the puzzle piece that just doesn't fit. He wasn't questioning her because he didn't see the flaws in IvyClan that would make one leave... he just wanted to know why she'd left when she did, and why she hadn't spoken to her family members before doing it. It wasn't the most graceful exit, and he wished she wouldn't have put the full burden of knowledge on him, but it was a burden he was willing to accept, as long as she explained herself.

The tom continued on as he absorbed her explanation, pushing through bushes and trotting along paths as he walked. "I am not pleased with how thee hath chosen to depart," Scorchpaw meowed bluntly after a few minutes of silence. His conversations were always very slow and contemplative- cats often wondered if he was even listening to them at times, as he always thought through his words thoroughly before he spoke. "However, I knoweth that mother and father wilt not taketh the news of thy voluntary departure well. Forsooth, they would do everything in their power to force thee to stayeth... perhaps it is for the best that thee did not confide in another." Scorchpaw lifted his gaze to watch the path ahead of him, his warm gaze shining in the darkness of the forest's shade. "If 't be true our family doest not taketh this announcement well, knoweth that I wilt continueth to endure by thy side. All I wanteth for mine siblings is to beest joyous," Scorchpaw meowed, easily accepting her reasoning. "I... empathize with thy feelings, as well."