[ti]Private[/ti]Dragged Away

[silverfang218]

Starling had carefully and silently lead Scorchpaw and Rainfur away from the Gathering to speak with them alone. The pawsteps behind her let her know that her crew was following; once she was sure they were far enough away to speak in peace, she takes a careful look around to make sure they were in no way followed. One of the things that most cats would see as a negative would be the constant alertness that a loner must maintain, particularly when roaming the clan territories, but it made Starling feel alive. She had never considered herself a thrillseeker like some of her fellow apprentices, but she had to admit that being a loner was a much more thrilling experience than living in relative safety in a clan.

She quickly decides she is satisfied that they are alone and her gaze settles on her beloved, overly-emotional father and loyal brother. A sad smile graces her face; she trusts that Rainfur will be able to accept her choice better than Owlstar ever will be able to, but she knows that he’ll have a lot of questions and a lot of emotions he needs to get out… and clearly Scorchpaw didn’t trust him very far.

Her eyes are brighter than ever before, more alive and sure of her place in the world than she has ever been, even if her fur hid the bit of weight she’s lost. She huffs at Scorchpaw. “I think we are safe now, you can let him go. Sorry I startled you like that, but I figured he should know that I’m safe. Thanks for helping, Scorchpaw.” She explains to her brother before turning to her dad. “Sorry dad. I didn’t mean to frighten you or drag you out here but I wanted to talk with you… but I couldn’t have you calling me out in front of a Gathering. Mom and the rest of IvyClan would kill me, and I doubt any of the clans would like having an outsider intruding on one of their Gatherings.” She gives them both an apologetic smile; this isn’t how she intended this to go down, but she now has both her dad and beloved sibling alone and in front of her. Score one for rash decisions.

[Meow]

Scorchpaw practically carried his father away from the Gathering, Rainfur's paws clumsily scratching at the earth as he attempted to aid his son in moving him. His emotions were running wild, but even he could tell that there was something up here. His daughter looked fine (if a bit skinnier than usual?)- she didn't look like she'd been stolen from IvyClan against her will. In fact, with all this secrecy...

Just what were his children up to?

When Starling came to a stop, ordering Scorchpaw to let go of Rainfur, the larger tom let go of his father's scruff. Rainfur stumbled a bit as he was responsible for holding up his own body once more, quickly steadying himself before he looked at his two children. Scorchpaw simply nodded at his sister's thanks, not bothered by her sudden appearance at all, while Rainfur looked a bit overwhelmed with his confusion and relief. Though, when Starling chose to address him, the blue-gray tom seemed to snap out of his stupor. Even before the she-cat was done speaking, Rainfur rushed forward, giving her a loving lick on the forehead. "Oh, darling- I don't know what's going on, but I'd be happy to be dragged through the Dark Forest if it meant seeing you alive and safe," Rainfur breathed, gaze glistening with relieved tears as he looked down at her beautiful, wonderful face. "I thought someone had taken you away from me, or that you were dead... but you're alive, and you're healthy. I'm so happy to see that you're back." Rainfur's eyes shimmered with hope and happiness. "You have nothing to fear, dear. Within the clans, you'll never be an outsider, and... as for your mother, I'm sure she'll understand that you just needed some time to yourself, right? If I just explain it to her..."

As their father attempted to reassure Starling that her return would be painless, Scorchpaw looked away, the guilt and sadness within only growing. He didn't know if he could watch his father's heart be broken any more than it already had been.

But... it needed to be done, and he would see it through. Starling didn't need to do this alone.

[silverfang218]

Starling lets herself enjoy Rainfur’s love for a moment, purring loudly as he lovingly licks her head. “I’m safe, dad, and I plan on staying that way.” She mews softly; Starling lets him reassure her about her return to IvyClan. Poor, sweet Rainfur has no idea. She almost wants to come back just so she doesn’t have to tell him, but that’s just not an option. She brought him out here so she could tell him the truth, and she just hopes it was the right decision.

“I’m… I’m not coming back, dad. I’ve decided to become a loner.” She mews quietly, barely above a whisper like she’s not sure whether she wants Rainfur to hear. “I couldn’t tell anyone because I knew it would break all of your hearts, and then someone would convince me not to go, or mother would sit on me until I gave up.” That sounds like something Owlstar would do, right? Seems plausible enough to Starling. “But I just don’t fit in IvyClan. I never did; I belong out here.” She has no idea how Rainfur’s going to take this; she expects this to go downhill from here (though they didn’t start out on a very high note anyways, seeing as how Scorch and Starling kidnapped their dad). “That’s why Scorchpaw stopped you from saying anything back at the Gathering. I can’t get caught like this. Don’t think StarClan or any other clan would be happy about a loner intruding on their Gathering.”

She expects death; she’s not sure who’s gonna die (probably either Rainfur or herself, Scorch might be safe), but she expects someone to fall over just from her speaking those words.

[Meow]

Rainfur's rumbling purrs halted as soon as Starling finished her first sentence, his face falling in the short silence that followed it. The tom did nothing to interrupt her as she talked about her inability to feel at home in IvyClan, nor did he argue when she went on to call herself a... loner. Instead, Rainfur said nothing, even when Starling finished getting out what she needed to say. His pale green gaze visibly dulled as he slowly took in her confession. Rainfur wasn't sure what to feel, how to react- he was happy that Starling was safe... relieved beyond words. But the cold, consuming emptiness that had opened up within him when his daughter began to speak only seemed to grow.

All his life, all Rainfur had ever wanted was a true family. He'd found that. Owlstar had come to love and care for him, a love that produced a litter of precious, beautiful kits. Ever since he laid his eyes on them, he vowed that he would do whatever he could for them. Rainfur wanted to give everything in the world to his kits because he loved his family more than anything. In their eyes, he'd seen his home- he'd seen a place he would be welcomed no matter what. He'd seen cats who would never leave his side, not for anything.

But Starling was leaving. She was leaving IvyClan, and never coming back. Like his siblings, like his mother, like everyone in MistClan he'd never gotten to know... she was leaving him.

Tears began leaking down Rainfur's cheeks as he looked into his daughter's eyes, quiet sobs leaving his mouth. Rainfur wanted to beg her to stay, to tell her that everything will get better if she just waits a little while, if she just... figures it out somehow. But he couldn't- he wasn't stupid. Rainfur had been in her paws before. He could see... that she believed that she was right where she belonged.

"I... I just w-want you to be happy," Rainfur answered pitifully between sobs, unable to hold back his raw emotions. "You should... you should be where y-you... where you... want to be..." Rainfur dropped into a sitting position as his words quickly descended into whimpers and pained breaths. It was too much for him... too much for him, too soon. The days she'd been gone had been utter hell for the tom, and his emotions had been stretched to their limits.

Scorchpaw's eyes had widened when Rainfur seemed to completely lose it after what seemed like several hours of silence. Rainfur had always been emotional, but Scorchpaw had never seen anything like this from him. He'd never seen anyone, at all, suffer so deeply from a goodbye. Scorchpaw stepped forward to attempt to comfort his father by resting his fluffy tail on his back, though he wasn't sure anything he could do would mend the wounds being inflicted on his father's heart.

[silverfang218]

Starling lets the silence hang between her and her father, hanging her head a bit like she was ashamed. She is a bit ashamed of herself; if she was never born or if she could just suck it up and make herself fit into a place she shouldn’t be, then her entire family would have been happy. She blinks as Rainfur starts to try and speak, though her gaze doesn’t raise from a singular strand of grass that she has decided seems so interesting. It isn’t until Rainfur’s words pause and his whimpers began start that Starling looks up at him. She nuzzles under his chin, unsure of how else to comfort him. “I’m not gone forever, you know.” She starts, pausing a moment to consider her next words. She’s not sure if Rainfur will find it comforting, but it’s the best she knows how to do.

“My den will just be in a slightly different place. You’ll still be able to visit me, if you want.” Though she somewhat suspects this is goodbye forever; she’s never been quite sure where her father stood on the warrior code thing, but she feared that he may chase her away should he ever find her while on patrol. Surely not, but it still seems like a rational fear to Starling.

Her fluffy tail curls around her father as she nuzzles closer, basking in Dadfur’s warmth. She lets out a soothing purr, even though it’s all she can do to not burst into tears as well. It hurt to see her father cry, and it hurt so much worse to know that she was the cause of it, and she is regretting her choice to let him in on this secret. If he was going to mourn her like this, perhaps it would just have been better for him to believe that she was dead. “I’m sorry…”

[Meow]

Rainfur continued his pitiful whimpering as Starling and Scorchpaw wrapped themselves around their father, looking to comfort the mourning tom. He knew it didn't have to be goodbye forever, that Starling might just be a little bit of a walk away from his home, but Rainfur wasn't mourning the fact that Starling was leaving IvyClan. Instead, Rainfur was mourning the completeness of their family, the small family outings they sometimes had, the afternoons they would have spent sharing tongues and laughing together. To Rainfur, they'd all meant that he belonged, even when his warrior duties got him down, even when he failed at being a good hunter or fighter. IvyClan was the place he'd chosen to raise his kits because he'd never wanted his children to feel like he had... an outsider. For a while, he'd believed that he'd found such a place...

But, even the safety and warmth of IvyClan couldn't keep all of his kits by his side. When he looked at his children now, he'd always be reminded of the one that wasn't there.

It was only when Starling's weak apology reached his ears that Rainfur pulled away from Starling, shaking his head. "N-no... no, don't apologize," Rainfur whispered, looking down at her seriously, his tears continuing to flow. "I love you, Starling... I love you, and all of your siblings, more than... than anything, ever. I love you so much, and no length of time apart, or amount of distance, or anything, anything, could ever change that." Rainfur gritted his teeth for a moment as he reeled his emotions in as best he could. As much as this hurt, he couldn't allow himself to make Starling regret choosing the path that made her happiest. "I always hoped my kits would grow up happily by my side, where I could watch your lives every step of the way, but... things rarely work out the way you want them to. Sometimes, a cat needs to wander off the path chosen for them to find their own happiness," Rainfur murmured, a shaky, small, sorrowful smile on his lips. "I... I trust you to know what's best for yourself."

Scorchpaw closed his eyes as he rested against his father. Even with his emotions working against him, he was pulling himself together once more to let his daughter know that he was okay with her decision, no matter how much it hurt. Scorchpaw had never been so proud to call Rainfur his father- even if he did teach him his strange way of speaking, and even if he was a bit of a nerd.

"I love you, my darling daughter," Rainfur repeated, leaning forward to rub his wet cheek against her own. "Don't forget that, okay? No matter what, you'll always have a family full of cats who love and cherish you. Your mother, and Smokypaw, Pebblepaw, Cinderpaw, and... and Scorchpaw, too. If you ever need us, we'll be here. Always."

[silverfang218]

Starling goes quiet as her father starts to speak, though she swears she can hear his very heart breaking as his words tumble over themselves trying to reassure her. Her own tears start to fall as her furry tail pulls Rainfur closer to her. Starling could never be more proud of anyone; he has listened to his child say she was leaving, and will now have to say goodbye to her, possibly forever just as surely as if she had died, yet he is able to pull himself together (somewhat) so she won’t regret her choices. No cat could ask for a better father, in Starling’s not so humble opinion (which is basically fact).

“Thank you, dad. I’ll never forget that. And I want you to never forget that no matter how far away I end up, my heart will always be right with you and mom and the rest of our family. I love you guys so much.” Starling’s voice is barely a whisper, only for Rainfur’s ears. It’s almost like she’s afraid that if she speaks too loud, she’ll ruin the moment and Rainfur will leave her forever. She doesn’t want what will likely be the last time she sees her dad to end just yet. “I’ll be thinking of you, always, and I’ll always be grateful for the time I got to spend with you all. I’ll cherish those times more than anything.” Her tail attempts to wrap around Scorchpaw too, if he's sitting close enough, as she attempts to draw them both together in her tiny family hug.

[Meow]

Rainfur couldn't help the waterfalls that had started pouring from his eyeballs as he allowed himself to be pulled into the fluffy hug. He would never forget this moment- the moment when his little bird set herself free from the cage that IvyClan had become to her. There was nothing he could have ever done to make her happy with his clan... she was born to fly on her own. It was in her nature. He only wish he could have seen it sooner. Than, maybe this wouldn't hurt so much. Rainfur squeezed his eyes shut as his children wrapped themselves around him, his tears wetting their fur as his sobbing continued. There was nothing more for Rainfur to say, nothing more for him to do.

When Starling's tail wrapped around him and Rainfur, Scorchpaw pressed them both into his fur, knowing they both needed the comfort right now. Rainfur was heartbroken, but he would be okay with this as long as Starling was happy, while Starling was stepping out into the unknown, leaving her whole family behind. "I will help take care of her, father. I will teach her everything I learn in training... if that is okay with Starling," Scorchpaw murmured after a few moments of silence, the emotion of the moment keeping him from embellishing his speech with fancy or antiquated terms. He knew his father was probably worrying about Starling's safety... she had only been an apprentice for two moons, after all. After a weak nod from Rainfur, Scorchpaw turned his golden eyes toward his sister. "And I will make sure that our family understands your departure. I will do my best to comfort them in your absence, dear sister."

[silverfang218]

Starling sniffles a bit as Scorchpaw starts to speak to her. “So you can talk normally.” She says, attempting to lighten the mood with a soft, teary smile. Starling never has liked sadness or crying, and she usually responds to heartache and negative emotions by trying to lift everyone’s spirits. Her spirits are too low to do much of that right now, but at least there was the one half-hearted attempt.

She nods at Scorchpaw’s suggestion to train her what he learns. She wouldn’t have left if she hadn’t of thought that she could survive on her own long enough to learn everything herself… but a little help never hurt anyone. She would more than happily accept her brother’s suggestion. She nods again to Scorchpaw’s offer to let their family know what happen. She feels absolutely terrible that she’s put this burden on him; she has realized that she didn’t leave the best way, but she is committed now. “I’m sorry, Scorchpaw. But thank you for helping me like this. I don’t think any cat has ever had a better brother. Or a better dad.” She purrs very softly, her tears and suppressed sobs still interfering with her quiet voice. Starling lovingly rubs against Rainfur to try and comfort him. No worries, Scorchpaw will get his rubs later since she knows that she’ll see him again soon.

[Meow]

Scorchpaw didn't react to his sister's comment about his speech, simply content to keep comforting his dad as Starling spoke. It was a messy situation, to be sure, but they would be okay- Starling was still alive, after all. Knowing that she was still out there somewhere would eventually be comforting to Rainfur, and Scorchpaw would be happy to bring his father updates if he desired. Their mother, though, wouldn't like this at all... he feared how she would react, but he was glad to know that his sister wouldn't have to tell her the news. She didn't need to feel any guiltier than she already did, and Owlstar likely wouldn't understand why she wanted to leave. That's the way their mother was. She gave her all to IvyClan and loved it more than life itself. It would break her to know that one of her children didn't feel the same way about the clan she'd worked so hard to turn into a place where her kits could live happily and safely.

"And I couldn't have asked for a better sister," Scorchpaw murmured, feeling his father sob in response to being called the best dad. Starling had her flaws, for sure, but Scorchpaw wouldn't have wanted her any other way. She was a cat who knew what she wanted and was willing to fight to get it. She was someone he could respect, someone he was proud to be related to.

Rainfur remained quiet as Starling rubbed against him, his head now drooping as he seemed to stare at the ground. Scorchpaw couldn't see his face, but he knew his father's devastated expression would remain where it was all night. He'd given all he had into telling his daughter how much he cared about her, and now there was no strength left in the blue-gray warrior. "...sister, I can take care of him from here," the fluffy tom mumbled. "I will visit you often..." Scorchpaw's honey-colored eyes flicked up to look into Starling's. "Please stay safe out there."