[ti]Open[/ti]he who angers you, controls you [open]

[foggy]

-- smokeshade --

---

The sun was slowly creeping down further, allowing a golden glow to appear, signalling the evening. It was quiet, something he relished but treated with caution. The muted chatters of his campmates were easier to hear than the usual titters and squeals of the morning, when the apprentices were being called to training. The younger ones were especially loud, still new to their new duties to find them anything other than exciting. Smokeshade hadn't met many of the apprentices and even if he preferred it that way, the tom knew it was important to be seen as a role model for the next generation and what not. The large feline was casually laying down in a sphinx position, trying to catch the last few rays of the dwindling sunlight before the evening became colder. The low noise helped him doze of into a light sleep, even though he knew he'd have to wake up later for a border patrol, but that was likely to eat into his night so catching some rest while he could would keep him alert. Or make him worse. The tom internally shrugged, the cold air would wake him up before long regardless of his thick coat.

The black coon remembered his warrior ceremony. It had been delayed due to an accident that left him with a silver scar down his eye. It had seemed so inconvenient at the time, but now he could look back and laugh and his wretched luck. His younger self has been so angry at his partner for losing control, not so much because it hurt or barely missed his eye, but because his warrior ceremony was delayed for so long. Watching all his peers progress to the next level and, technically, be more valuable to the clan than him, despite them being the same age, had been near agony for him. Smokeshade had learnt the meaning of patience having nothing to do in the medicine cat den, bandaged up and restless. Still, it had given him the chance to mature, and he'd needed it. Impatience was not a good quality to have as a warrior and he couldn't help but feel that Starclan had perhaps intervened for the better good to teach him a lesson about it. An amusing thought - perhaps they had? Perhaps it was just bad luck and Starclan had more important dealings than an envious apprentice. Now he finally was a warrior and not much had changed. His eye had healed nicely and Smokeshade was content that he had had no problems leftover from the injury. His duties were the same, but he could relish in the new-found freedom he now had. As an apprentice one could not leave the camp without a warrior but being able to go out alone was invigorating. In his opinion, it was the best thing about being a fully-fledged warrior, although he still had to go out in groups for patrols. He'd rather go out on his own every time but that would be impractical if anything happened.

It was reaching the time for the evening patrols, which meant the camp would be aflutter with his campmates preparing organizing themselves. His ears flicked in preparation for the soon-to-be rapidly raising noise levels. He hoped the hunting parties would be able to bring back a good amount of prey. A good meal after a good day was a great feeling, especially if they had food to spare. The thuds of his clanmates paw steps were already nearing, he briefly wondered which one of them it'd be first.

[silverfang218]

The plump black queen sauntered out of the nursery and towards the freshkill pile. It had taken a while for her stomach to fill out this time, but by now there was no doubt that she was expecting. Likely expecting a larger litter too, much like her first one. But this time… this time would be better. Nightfur knows it will be. This time their father will stay and help her raise and protect them, instead of vanishing right when she needed him most. This time, there better not be a fire, nor an earthquake to snatch her kits one by one away from her side. No. This time things will be better.

For right now, however, her concern is to be healthy until they arrive. With their due date looming close, Silverfang had forbade her from leaving camp unless Ravenwing went with her. Since Ravenwing was likely out having a nice look around the territories, possibly hunting, the dark queen was stuck here for now. Confined to the nursery with Meteorfall was far from the worst fate Nightfur could imagine at the moment, though.

Night had decided that it was important for Meteor and herself to eat, so she emerged to find Meteor a juicy piece of prey. She waddles past a warrior, and her tail raises in greeting to him. Ah yes, Smokeshade. She remembers him, and the circumstances behind his delayed warrior ceremony. Unfortunate, but perhaps a good lesson on patience. That or a good time to begin harboring envy, but she doesn’t believe Smoke took it that way.

But Smoke looked like he was resting, so the queen doesn’t disturb him. Rather, she tries not to; her pawsteps fall heavy with the weight of several extra kittens. Her paws carry her to the pile of prey and she looks over it with a discerning eye. Can’t be bringing her expecting adopted daughter anything but the best, now can she?

[foggy]

-- smokeshade --

---

Smokeshade couldn't think of a worse fate than being confined to the Queen's Den, even the thought was enough to make him suffer. He was a restless soul, always got agitated when he had nothing to do. It gave him a newfound respect for those who did choose to have kittens, it was something he, as a male cat, could never hope to understand in exactly the same way. Even his own mother, as good a mother as she was, wasn't able to stay out of the forest, in fact, she had birthed her kittens out in the forest and it was often recounted as a funny warning to those close to birthing. He suppose having company helped to keep the current Queen's minds occupied, though he wondered if having only one other constant companion was enough, seeing as only Nightfur and Meteorfall were the only two living in the Queen's Den.

Smokeshade had never boasted about his hearing - he was a decent hunter but had been guilty of scaring away prey many times before. He blamed it on all the fluff covering his ears, a terrible excuse but he'd never outright admit that he needed to improve something. That would be admitting defeat, until it was scientifically proven by at least three witnesses, Smokeshade never admitted defeat. He was a prideful git when it came to his abilities to provide for the clan. Perhaps it was his unconfirmed less-than-perfect hearing that would've made it possible for every other cat except Nightfur to 'sneak' past him. The extra weight made it impossible not to hear her. Not that he'd ever, ever say that to her face, he didn't want a cloud round the ear from her. Pregnancy made she-cats all unstable with their emotions, and Smokeshade couldn't handle all that.

He turned his head to follow the sound before opening his eyes, hanging onto to those last few seconds of undisturbed solitude before re-joining the land of the living. It took him a few seconds to recognize who had just passed him, his mind still a little fuzzy from sleep, but when he did he stood up to walk the short distance towards her. Smoke could hardly be considered an especially friendly cat but with pregnant she-cats he was soft on. Probably because only they could do what Smokeshade thought was some version of hell, and it must be horrible being confined anywhere with a rapidly changing body. "Nightfur," A soft inclination of his head conveyed a certain type of respect but also a quick greeting. His vision turned towards the prey pile, gathering that the Queen wanted some food, he wondered if she was experiencing those cravings for certain types of food, in which case, he severely hoped they had it in the pile. "How are you? It can't be fun weighing so much more than you used to so suddenly." He stopped, internally cursing at himself for his choice of subject. Well, Smokeshade never claimed to have tact or be good with pretty words, or just words in general. He quickly tried to distract her from his blunt words. "Is there anything I can help you with?"

[silverfang218]

Nightfur pauses in her search as she hears Smokeshade start moving around behind her; her first assumption is that her too-heavy pawsteps awoke the warrior. As Smoke said her name, Nightfur turns around just in time to catch his nod. She gives him an apologetic smile for waking him up and a nod to show respect and as a greeting. All queens should respect their warrior clanmates; after all, it is the warriors who bring food for them and may end up going hungry for them. Some queens may have strong words for Smoke about his blunt words, but Nightfur merely smiles. “I’m doing alright, thank you. But yes, the little ones are getting a bit heavy. I’m starting to get tired of carrying them around.” She chuckles. She can handle the truth of being fat with kittens, no worries.

“Sorry for waking you; sadly, I’m not as stealthy as I was a few short weeks ago.” Another apologetic smile. At his question of whether or not she needs help, the queen’s attention turns back towards the freshkill pile. “Oh, I think I can manage. I’m just picking out some food for Meteorfall is all; I’m fat but that doesn’t mean I can’t carry a piece of freshkill on my own.” What she doesn’t say is that some conversation would be nice. She loved Meteorfall and all, but two she-cats can only spend so much time together before they both start to go insane… particularly if both she-cats are pregnant. She was sure that Meteor would mind if Night took her time and gave her a little time alone.

[foggy]

-- smokeshade --

---

The dark-furred queen's unspoken but clearly genuine apology was unneeded and Smokeshade felt no need to accept it, instead preferring to listen to her spoken words. "How far along are you?" He asked, upon hearing of her mild exasperation of how heavy she was getting. "I suppose it means they're healthy, getting their nourishment to grow properly." It surely would be a problem if they weren't - Smoke knew that Nightfur had had a complicated past when it came to former litters and she deserved to have a source of normal happiness. Everyone did. The thought made him think to when he'd have his own kits, if he had his own kits. Would he be a good father? He would he look after them? The tom forced his rapidly spiralling thoughts to come to a screeching stop by reminding himself that thinking of such serious matters in the middle of a conversation was rude and not fair.

An apology. This time spoken. Smokeshade waved his paw slightly, dismissing her apology. "Don't worry about it, I'll wager most of this clan is louder than you, even when they try and be quiet." Even if he was exaggerating a bit, Mistclan certainly had some loud personalities.

When Nightfur's attention was recaptured by the freshkill, the maine coon followed her line of eyesight. As a warrior, he wouldn't eat until after some more prey had been added to the pile and his 'working day' had officially finished. Besides, he wasn't that hungry anyway, he'd rather the queens and their (unborn) kits have their fill first. He nodded as she rejected his offer to help, it was more said out of curtesy anyway but he would've been happy to help had there of been something Nightfur had needed assistance with. "All right, just let me know if you do need something. I'm sure I'll be around." Although, he did briefly wonder what a pregnant feline could need help with. Apprentices were usually in charge of cleaning out their nests and bringing in fresh ones and Nightfur was clearly capable of fetching the freshkill. Regardless, he would be on hand to help should their be a need of it. "How's Ravenwing?" Smokeshade and him and yet to interact besides seeing each other on various patrols and around the camp but he knew of the relationship between him and Nightfur.

[silverfang218]

“Oh, I’m pretty far along. Silverfang says it will be any day now for Meteorfall and me both.” Nightfur smiles, “Well I’m happy that they are growing and healthy, but they are awful heavy. It’ll be nice when they stop making me carry them around.” She chuckles. She sits where she is to talk, as her slender legs will give out long before she makes it back to the nursery if she tries to have a conversation while holding all her little dears up like that. Her tail curling around her swollen belly; she is forced to shift a bit as one of her tiny troublemakers kicks at her side, but she smiles all the same.

She lets out a laugh as he assures her that she is still quieter than most of their clanmates. While in camp, that might be true. MistClan is host to many loud personalities and cats with even louder pawsteps or voices. Unless it is nighttime or you are hidden away in one of the dens, Mist’s camp might not be the best place to sleep.

“Thank you for the offer. I will, Smokeshade.” No worries there; while many warriors have pride that gets in the way of asking for help, Nightfur has no such hold ups. Particularly if her kits are involved. If she decides that she needs help, she’ll more than gladly seek Smoke out.

At Smoke’s question about her mate, Night chuckles, “Ravenwing is… well, he’s Ravenwing. He’s probably out trying to catch me some food himself, the sweet thing. I love him, but he might be overly excited about these kits… that and worried about me.” She smiles at the thought of him; Raven really was too sweet for his own good, but she would have to remind him who wore the pants in this relationship… once the kits were born anyways.

[foggy]

-- smokeshade --

---

"That soon?" The warrior's voice was laced in surprise - normally queens so close to their birthing time would be crawling out of their skin, at least in Smoke's experience. He was rather surprised that Nightfur was able to keep being so cheerful and happy knowing that any day now she'd be in incredible pain bringing her children into the world. But then, Smoke didn't have any children yet so perhaps he could never hope to understand in the same way that Nightfur did. He moved back slightly to allow her more room to settle before taking a seat himself. For being such a large cat he took up a lot of space but those sitting close to him would know that he's mostly fluff. "Who do you think will give birth first?" He asked with smile, wondering if clanmates could put bets on such a thing, or would it be considered disrespectful? Still, there was no harm in a bit of competition, even if it about the birth of new additions to the clan.

Smoke was one of those warriors. It had lessened a lot from when he was a hot-blooded apprentice but sometimes he still let his pride get into the way. Not with any petty or trivial things, though, he had no problems asking someone to help catch enough prey in a hunting party or even helping him clear out a den, but when it came to the big things in life, mostly personal problems, he just couldn't accept help. It didn't mean he felt like he couldn't help others, whether they wanted help with trivial problems to serious problems.

Smokeshade didn't know Ravenwing so he didn't understand completely how the other tom functioned but Smoke certainly knew he was a bit odd, but nobody could say he didn't have good intentions. He was sweet, probably too sweet in Smoke's opinion - in his experience those who were too sweet took losses hard, and everyone went through losses. The warrior just hoped life would be kind on the couple, if only for Nightfur's sake. Raven's innocence could be comparable to a kit's and, despite Nightfur knowing how to handle kits, she needed some support too. Still, if anything could make someone stronger, having children would do it. "He's a new father. He's bound to be excited, it's a major life event, parenthood changes you. Or so I'm told." Strong words, coming from someone who'd never had kits and probably wouldn't for a long time to come but the power of observation could do wonders. "As long as he knows when it's time to get serious and help out." Not that they'd be alone, the whole clan would be willing to help, he knew, but it was understandably different for the actual parents. "I'm sure he'll be a good father - he's a good warrior, and you'll be a good mother. We need good parents here, it'll create better warriors. Kind, strong, like their parents." He was aware he was being a sap but he could let his guard down once in a blue moon and nobody would notice.

[silverfang218]

The queen nods with a smile at Smokeshade’s surprise about how close their due dates are. Sure, whenever they decide to come out, Nightfur will have a bad night but no cause to worry about something she can’t change. Besides, what comes after will be worth any amount of pain. She’s been through it before; she’s tough. “I don’t know who it will be first. Silverfang seems to think we’ll give birth pretty close together. Hard to say.” She wouldn’t take any offense to cats betting on which queen will have kits first.

She nods again as he says that Ravenwing is bound to be excited and that parenthood changes a cat. She’d be the first to confirm that; instead of putting one’s self, one’s mate, or one’s clan above all else, now a cat put those kits above everything even their mate. While some cats worry about their mates, all mothers likely feel a bit of concern for their kits even once they are fully grown and have their warrior names. Loyalty means everything, but after her first litter, Nightfur would have had to admit that they met more still. It’s an indescribable thing, really. “He can be serious when he needs to,” She states, recalling how he has always risen to the occasion whenever she needed him. He had become mature the day she confessed she wanted him to be her mate, as he had done his best to comfort her. “Though I quite like the way he is a kit at heart. Every warrior needs to remember how to have fun every once in awhile, or so I believe.”

She smiles softly as Smoke continues. “He’ll be a good father. My record is less than stellar, but I will do my best.” She tilts her head down a bit, silently thanking the tom for the implied praise. She appreciates that he seems to think that she and mousebrained Ravenwing will be good parents. The faith warms her heart.

[foggy]

-- smokeshade --

---

He hoped they wouldn't give birth on the same day. Poor Silverfang would be run ragged, but at least she had an apprentice to help out now. It would take a lot of pressure off the medicine cat and with two pregnant she-cats, Starclan knew she could use it. He sometimes wondered about the clan's healer - he felt that she distanced herself away slightly. Perhaps an apprentice would help in more ways than just halving her duties? It wasn't his business, though, as long as she could heal the clan when they needed her. Smokeshade wasn't one to interfere anyway, unless it directly affected him.

Smoke's only experience in love, if you could call it that, was when he was an apprentice. It was usually at that age when first love made an appearance. It was short-lived but intense, as first loves are, Smokeshade felt that she was the first to properly understand him. In that moment he discovered that loyalty to the clan wasn't as certain as the elders tell you. Smoke thought that it was automatic - having unwavering loyalty to the clan but he found that, had she asked, he would've had some serious doubts on whether he would stay true to Mistclan. Of course, it was just adolescent melodrama speaking and their dalliance burnt out before he made any serious decisions. Compared to Nightfur and Ravenwing, he was still so young, so Smoke expected that much of Night's opinions had come from moons of experience.

When was the last time he'd had fun? He supposed he'd been going through the motions for a long time. It had been a calm time in Mistclan, so if there was a time to relax, it would be now, but Smokeshade couldn't help but think that it was the calm before the storm. It was best to be always alert, in his opinion. Fun was for kits, in his opinion, they had no duties or expectations and they could afford to have fun. If a warrior chose to have fun at the wrong time, it could be disastrous and he simply could not be that warrior. He envied those who could let their guard down, but he told himself that it was just the sacrifice he paid so they could. An unhealthy mindset but Smoke was stubborn and needed to rationalise his actions. "Good luck finding time to have fun when you've got kits," he replied dryly, as stated, Smokeshade didn't have kits but he'd seen the exhausted faces of parents enough to know it was no easy path to walk.

However, his whiskers twitched as he caught the sliver of self-doubt within Nightfur's voice. The coon had never done well with comforting others and parenting was always a tricky subject to speak of, but it didn't sit well with him to just let her doubts pass by with offering some kind of assurance. "No kit could ask for better parents, and you're naturally maternal - you can't help but parent." He paused for a few seconds, letting his words linger in the air before continuing. "I know your previous litters deserved better, but not from you, from life. You did your duty as a mother for as long as Starclan allowed you." He hoped he was wording this correctly. Smokeshade didn't have the absolute faith in Starclan as some of his clanmates did, but he believed that Nightfur wasn't to blame for the tragedies that happened in the past and that she shouldn't be carrying the blame for something she could do nothing to prevent.

[silverfang218]

“Ah, but kits know how to have fun better than any of us. I’m usually having fun when I’m with them.” Nightfur chuckles; it’s true. Tansykit had never been much for romping around with her, but Finchkit… he loved mossball. He loved to play and he especially loved playing with Night and Meteorkit. It wasn’t always easy, but there was nothing quite like it. Kits sometimes caused stress and chaos, but the times when the parents could play and laugh with their little ones all made up for it.

She dips her head as Smokeshade continued, reassuring her as best he can. Her lips twitch up in a smile at his kind words. “I can’t tell you how much that means to me. If that is so then let’s hope that StarClan and life is a bit less harsh this time. I suppose it will help that they’ll have a father to watch over them.” She lifts her intense gaze to meet Smoke’s eyes. “Thank you.” She says simply, gratitude evident in her voice.