[ti]Private[/ti]Tattered Spirits and Hearty Smiles

[M'Lady]

Hazelwish sighed softly, staring at the mouse that lay between her paws. As per usual, she found herself not very hungry that evening. It'd been like this for awhile, ever since Brackenfall left for Mothclan. She didn't quite know what it was, but there was a hole somewhere inside her that couldn't be filled by something as trivial as food. She picked the mouse up and returned it to the freshkill pile, keeping an eye out for Sparrowcry so her other brother wouldn't scold her for refusing to eat once again. It didn't happen all the time. Some days she was as cheery as she used to be as an apprentice. But for some reason, on days like this... When it rained, she became much sadder than usual. It just reminded her constantly of the times she and her brothers would play and romp in the puddles and mud when they were kits, even apprentices. Laughing, bright smiles, and the whole world seemed to shine despite the dreary day. Now, however, the day was gray. She still carried out her duties, but she drudged along otherwise, as if her paws were too heavy for her to pick up. She tried her best, to still be the she-cat that everyone liked. She smiled brightly, though it didn't reach her honey colored eyes. 

The warrior moved along, heading towards an alcove in the rocky walls of the camp to seek shelter from the droplets that fell from the sky. She must've not been looking where she was going, or at least dragged her paws a little too much, for she bumped into another warrior on the way there. Thankfully, he was larger than her, so it didn't cause any lasting effects other than the fact that Hazelwish started, and took a step back in surprise. She looked up, finding that she recognized the tom she had staggered into. 

"Oh! Fennelskip!" She mewed, her tone flickering in surprise. She smiled sheepishly, honey eyes glowing against dark tabby fur. "I'm sorry, I didn't see you there. I suppose my thoughts are wandering again!" She laughed, tilting her head slightly to the side in a sign of apology. 

[karambito]

Fennelskip

The long-haired tabby tom lifted his face to the sky, closing his eyes as the small water droplets rolled across his face. The care free tom chuckled to himself, thinking that the rain meant that new-leaf was final, and with rain came the growth of plants and the abundance of prey. Shaking off his pelt, Fennelskip decided to seek shelter so he didn't catch a sickness from the cold rain. Padding over to an alcove in Ivyclan's camp, he gave a little squeak as someone bumped right into his side. Turning to look at the other cat, he immediately recognized her as Hazelwish. "Oops, sorry!" The grey and white tom mewed softly. "Also seeking shelter from the rain?" He asked her, his face soft and bright with his typical gentle smile as he ushered them both under the rocky wall. "What're you thinkin about?" Fennelskip then asked her, tilting his head slightly with worry.

[M'Lady]

She backed up against the cool stone as Fennelskip ushered them out of the rain, and set her sights to the dark clouds above for a moment, instead of answering the tom's question.

"It's... Really not much of a problem." She spoke softly, a slight smile on her features even though she soon cast her gaze downwards to match it. She stared at her paws, shuffling them a bit closer to her so she could wrap her tail around them. She paused for a moment, trying to remember all she knew about Fennel. It wasn't much, she hadn't had a whole lot of interaction with the tom other than a few patrols here and there, or joking around camp once in awhile with her fellow warriors. Maybe it would be best, to talk to him then. He didn't know her well either, so maybe he wouldn't judge her like Sparrowcry did. For being sad instead of mad at their traitorous brother.

"I miss Brackenfall." She finally said after awhile, her voice barely louder than the raindrops that spilled from the sky. "I miss him so much, I can't... Act like myself anymore. I don't know how. Sparrowcry doesn't know how either, he's already moved on. I'm happy, obviously... Sorta... How am I just supposed to forget about him?" She continued, before glancing up at Fennelskip and wincing. "A-ah... I'm rambling now. I'm sorry, I didn't realize."

[karambito]

Fennelskip

As the two warrior nows sat beneath the rocky ledges, the tabby tom could feel the waves of sadness rolling off of Hazelwish, and he frowned. At first he thought that maybe the rain was upsetting the she-cat, but then told him that the rain didn't really bother her, and so he was going to ask her what was wrong, as he always fretted over his clan mates, when she again, began to tell him what was at fault. Fennelskip listened and gave a slow nod. There was a moment of silence between the two as he thought and pondered.

"You don't have to be sorry" Fennelskip looked at the other warrior, giving a little laugh. "I'm sorry about your brother....I don't have any siblings but I can imagine it's hard when you can never see them like you used to" he sighed, trying to over some comfort to the struggling warrior, whom he found was similar to him, a victim to their emotions. Like always, Fennelskip picked up on her emotions intensely and he touched his nose to her ear. "Have you spoken to Brackenfall?" He questioned Hazelwish, hinting at telling the Mothclan deputy her feelings. "Grief is different for everyone" Fennelskip added, thinking about his parents. When his father had died, he was heart broken, but his mother had moved on easily some how, never mentioning him again until her own death.

[M'Lady]

She laughed when he asked if she'd spoken to Bracken. Please, like she'd ever have the chance. Mothclan cats surrounded him at Gatherings, and why would he even want to see her anyway? He's the one that left. He's the one that decided that family wasn't worth staying.
"No, I haven't spoken to him." She spoke softly, though she appreciated his affectionate gesture and words. "I don't think he'd want to talk with me, anyway. Though I would like the chance someday to yell at him so loudly that he runs back to Mothstar with his tail tucked in between his legs." She grumbled, eyes still cast downwards, as if her gaze weighed so heavily that she wasn't able to move them.

"It would just... Help to know why he left. Was it blind ambition? Was he unhappy here? How could I not see that he was unhappy? Could I have done something to help?" She pondered the questions that often plagued her mind aloud, her voice quiet after the small outburst earlier. She prided herself for years on knowing how her clanmates felt. It was how she knew when and how to cheer them on, how to support them, how to tell them exactly what they needed to hear. She didn't understand how she possibly could've missed how sad or upset Brackenfall could've been. So much so that he left. It frustrated her more than it saddened her. Support was the one thing she did well. She was a sub par hunter, a terrible fighter. This was her identity and it felt stripped away from her. "What do you do when you don't even know who you are anymore?"