Ashcloud, IvyClan, Warrior

[riley]

Ashcloud Tom 58 moons Straight IvyClan Warrior "Fate has been cruel, and order unkind. How could I have sent you away?" - Lullaby For a Princess, Ponyphonic on youtube Appearance Ashcloud's name is a rather good indication of his coloring. His pure is a pale grey color, bordering on silver. The stripes that make up his tabby pattern aren't the bold black of most tabbies. They're instead a sort of faded gray, just enough to stand out against the silver but not so much that they're striking. His frame is thin and slender, more suited to climbing trees and jumping branch to branch than forcing his way through bracken and gorse. Ashcloud's eyes are a piercing pure yellow. Personality Of all the things that can describe Ashcloud, one of the most important things is durable. He's been through a lot, everyone has, but has never once let it beat him. Ashcloud looks to the future just as much as he does now, especially when it comes to the youth of the Clan. To the apprentices of his Clan, he tries to be respectful. Ashcloud doesn't think himself above them just because he's a warrior. Once upon a time, he WAS one of them. He tries to be patient with all of the grumps and spitfires of the Clan but even Ashcloud has a limit. He can be kind of sensitive when it comes to family matters, siblings especially. It's the best way to get on his bad side. Woe be to any cat that mistreats their kin while he's around! He's not the friendliest cat, but that's not because he's mean. If anything, he's socially awkward. He's friendly enough, but he never knows what to say, and can come off as rather distant to the cats that don't know his story. History Kithood Young Ashkit was born second in a litter of two. His elder sister was gray, like him. In fact, the two of them were near identical. The only physical difference between the two was their gender. To emphasize this, they were given matching names, Ashkit and Sootkit. Their mother was a little on the older side, a gray tabby like them named Grayflower with silver on her muzzle. They weren't her first kits by a long shot but they'd certainly be her last. She never told them who their father was, by his own request. At first their life was normal. Grayflower had to take borage to ensure her milk came, another byproduct of her age. Ashkit and Sootkit were typical kits, playing and getting into trouble. But when they turned three moons, their mother was taken from them. There wasn't anything wrong with her aside from her age. They'd just woken up one day and she was dead in her sleep, her cold body still wrapped around them. It was a hard lesson for kits far too young to learn it. There weren't any other queens in the nursery at the time, and they'd only just started weaning. Clanmates had to chew prey for them until they could eat it themselves. Ashkit and Sootkit clung to each other to an almost unhealthy point. They were all they had in the world. The day of their apprentice ceremony was almost too much for them. Apprentice Ashpaw and Sootpaw were separated by their mentors under the explanation that they'd have to get used to it. They couldn't be together every minute of every day. Ashpaw was led away from camp, sullen and surly. That first day was terrible. He didn't speak a single word to his mentor, merely flicking his ears or tail to acknowledge them. He could see his mentor was getting frustrated, and a small part of him was savagely satisfied. That'd teach 'em. Ashpaw wouldn't be separated from Sootpaw ever again. Or at least, so he thought. Turns out his little rebellion had done nothing but earn his mentor's ire. Ashpaw was still taken away from Sootpaw against his will. He gave the same treatment as the day previously, determined to get his way, but that shattered when he got home and Sootpaw tentatively told him that maybe their mentors had a point. It'd be GOOD for them, give them a sense of their own identity. It's always been Ash and Soot. Maybe it was time to be Ash OR Soot. As much as it hurt, Ashpaw agreed. Not because he wanted to, but because Sootpaw wanted to. If she'd be happier away from him, then it was for the best. Had he done something wrong? Was she upset with him for some reason? He couldn't think of anything though. Maybe... maybe she was just getting sick of him? Now he had an entirely different reason to be sullen. He did, however, pay more attention to his mentor. Something they were visibly relieved about. It wasn't long before Ashpaw became a proficient hunter and decent fighter. He didn't like hurting cats on purpose. The only reason he didn't completely hate it was because it helped him protect Sootpaw, keep her safe. And he knew the warrior code said the Clan as a whole was more important than one cat, but Sootpaw would always be his most important cat. To his horror, Ashpaw earned his warrior name before her in a border skirmish with a band of rogues. He hadn't even done anything heroic or brave. Frankly he'd been scared the entire time. All Ashpaw had done was go through the moves his mentor had taught him, but that was enough. At first he hadn't wanted it, but Sootpaw told him it was okay. They were their own cats now, and he deserved it. So though he was hesitant about it, he agreed, and Ashpaw became Ashcloud. Warrior It took some getting used to, being a warrior. He didn't have to ask permission to leave camp anymore, and he didn't have to train with anyone. He had more time than he knew what to do with. Oh he had patrols to do, yes, but he didn't have to do them every minute of every day. And he got the feeling Sootpaw didn't want to spend any time with him. So what was he to do with himself? Maybe... Maybe he could make friends? Ashcloud was tentative at first, socially awkward in a way he never realized before. He'd always known how Sootpaw would react to anything he said, so he'd never had to wonder what she was thinking. It wasn't like that with others. He was always worrying about what they thought of him and were they just humoring him? When his sister became a warrior too, nobody cheered louder than him. Sootface was happier than he'd ever seen her, sitting tall and proud. She chatted with their Clanmates in a way he struggled to, making them laugh and laughing in return. Ashcloud felt the distance yawning between them. They were both warriors and were once again sleeping next to each other, but she'd never felt so far away. That distance proved itself when Sootface announced she was having kits. Ashcloud hadn't even known she felt that way about anybody, let alone that she had a mate. Had they really grown so far apart? He tried to be happy for her, he really did. He smiled and congratulated her and everything. Then he ran away, claiming he was going to hunt the territory barren to keep her fed and healthy. Sootface did her warrior duties for as long as she could. Being young and healthy, she could afford to. Still, when she went to the nursery already round and cumbersome, Ashcloud felt empty inside. He still brought her everything he could to make her comfortable. Soaked moss, her favorite prey, the softest feathers. He couldn't help but notice that no other tom did this for her. Surely her mate wasn't ashamed or embarrassed? Why wouldn't they come forward? Ashcloud was there for her kitting. It was awkward and weird and he saw parts of his sister he absolutely never ever wanted to see but when she was done she had three beautiful kits at her belly. Two she-kits and a tom, all varying parts of gray and white. She named the eldest one Graykit, after their mother. The second she named Stormkit. She let him name the third, and he settled on Pebblekit, as much for his size as for his pelt. He vowed to be there for them however he could. He kept Sootface fed and looked after the kits whenever she got restless, though obviously he had no milk for them. Sootface teased him, asking if he loved kits so much why he didn't he have a family of his own. And Ashcloud found... he couldn't answer her. The thought had never even occurred to him, to have a love life of his own. He thought of it, pictured it in his mind. A pretty she-cat at his side, kits of his own bouncing around his paws. It weirded him out, to be honest. He told Sootface as such. And though she obviously couldn't relate, she accepted it. And for some reason, he found himself relieved. Six moons passed and the kits became apprentices. To his surprised delight, Ashcloud was chosen to mentor young Pebblepaw. Usually kin wasn't really chosen to mentor kin, but the leader told him that Sootface had asked specifically for him to mentor one of her kits. And it didn't take long for Ashcloud to realize why Pebblepaw had been chosen. Pebblepaw was like him when he'd been an apprentice. He disliked fighting and hurting cats and told Ashcloud that if cats talked things out more often instead of always resorting to violence, they wouldn't even need fighting. In amusement, Ashcloud had told him that if he wanted to try to 'talk it out' with an angry fox or dog, he could be his guest. Then he got serious. Battles happened, whether Pebblepaw wanted them to or not. And whether he wanted them to or not, his siblings would be out there fighting too. The best way to keep them safe was to learn to protect them. Bad things might still happen, but the chances of it would be vastly decreased if he was on the scene. If there was one thing the two of them had in common, it was that they'd do anything to protect their family. So Pebblepaw threw himself into their battle training, and soon he was an even better fighter than Ashcloud. Not that that was hard. None of them knew it, but their worlds were about to be turned upside down. On a rare day when Ashcloud was alone, he was out hunting in the forest when he spotted Sootface slinking through the forest. Now he knew his sister, and he knew when she was trying to sneak. Curious but not truly worried, Ashcloud followed after her. Maybe she was just hunting. He'd wait until she caught whatever she was stalking before showing himself. But Sootface never stopped. Growing more and more concerned, Ashcloud followed her all the way to Twolegplace, where she relaxed and called out. Ashcloud watched as a loner stepped out and greeted her warmly, brushing her muzzle and purring. Sootface welcomed him with a trill, and they started talking. A buzzing started going in Ashcloud's ears, drowning out their words. The tom's eyes... they were the exact shade of green that Pebblepaw's were. And his ears and muzzle, he recognized them from Stormpaw's. Even the tail length, long and fluffy, were Greypaw's. This... This was their father. This was Sootface's mate. Ashcloud wasn't even aware of when he revealed himself. One moment he was in the bushes, watching, and the next he was meeting Sootface's shocked eyes. He asked why, his voice broken, and Sootface tried to defend herself. She introduced the tom as Sawyer, a loner from twolegplace, and she hadn't meant to fall in love, it had just happened. Ashcloud interrupted her, saying that wasn't what he meant. She was visibly confused, and Ashcloud specified. Why hadn't she told him? He would have understood! Helped her hide it! All this time he thought it was his fault they weren't close anymore, that he'd done something wrong. But it wasn't his fault. It was hers, because she hadn't trusted him enough. Slowly the shock and confusion faded into anger. Anger and betrayal. Voice shaking, he told Sootface to leave. Leave and never come back. She was a traitor to their Clan, a traitor to their family, a traitor to HIM. If he ever saw her again, he'd attack her himself. Sootface stared, obviously not believing him, at least until Ashcloud snarled at them and lashed out, just barely catching her muzzle with his claws. It was enough to make her bleed. Sootface turned and ran, Sawyer following after her. Stunned and numb, Ashcloud sat there until dusk, when he registered the chill he felt wasn't just the pain in his heart. Then he returned to camp. His nieces and nephew met him, relieved and worried at the same time. They asked if he was okay, if he'd seen Sootface. They'd been missing since sunhigh. Ashcloud looked at them, waiting for some revelation that these cats that he'd loved so much were half-Clan. No such revelation came. They were the same as they'd always been. He pulled them close, suddenly shaking. He wouldn't tell. He couldn't ruin their lives. Pebblepaw cried out, asking what was wrong, did he need the medicine cat, and where was Sootface? Croaking, Ashcloud answered that she was gone. He gave no specifics, simply stating over and over again, louder each time, that she was gone. Everything caught up with him then and Ashcloud broke down. He'd chased his own sister away, the cat he loved more than anything in the world. He'd attacked her, would never see her again. ThunderClan held a vigil for her, not that she deserved it, and the four of them were given a brief respite from their duties. Only a few days. The apprentices were soon, not back to themselves, but functioning. And one could say Ashcloud was functioning too, but once again he was only going through the motions. He went on patrols, he trained Pebblepaw, he ate and slept. But everybody could tell he wasn't quite there. Their warrior ceremony was overshadowed by the voice that wasn't there. That SHOULD have been there. The anger burned away the apathy, and Ashcloud roared their warrior names to the sky. He hoped Sootface heard it, wherever she was, and knew he was claiming these young cats as his own now. Pebblestrike and him stayed close, and Ashcloud made an effort for his nieces to be included too. He didn't want Graywhisker and Stormpetal to feel left out like he had. Ashcloud took on more patrols now that he didn't have to train, on some occasions even taking the initiative and organizing his own patrol, even if it was just that small family. The trio didn't even get to enjoy being warriors for a full season before the fire started. A raging blaze that burned the mountain and forest to cinders and ash. Cats died, cats that Ashcloud had grown up with and befriended. One of them was the leader. The two Clans left their home in search of a new place and thought they'd found it, but disaster forced the two Clans to leave, separated from each other. Owlstar, who had gone to speak with MistClan, was missing. There were whispers that the Clan was cursed to have lost two leaders so close together. Ashcloud did his best to keep things together and help where he could, but even he was starting to get down. So nobody could blame the little apprentice when they cried out and leaped onto the suddenly reappeared Owlstar. So MistClan and IvyClan once again traveled, but this time as one. The things that kept the Clans separate didn't seem as important when life or death was on the line. Ashcloud couldn't say he missed it. Soon they got to their new home. Some left the Clans to join the newly formed MothClan, either not content with the way things had gone or they didn't want to leave the friends they had made. Ashcloud was torn over it, but eventually decided they had to do what made them happy. As for him? He'd just go on as he'd been, hunting and fighting and providing for his Clan.