[p]I Can Only See Your Face When I Close My Eyes

[GnawingOnIce]

Honeywing wasn’t one to be entirely direct and out-there with her feelings and emotions. If anything, she was a bit closed off and kept to herself much of the time. But today she was determined for once in her life. Today she was going to take Silverspots out on a walk along the river and proclaim her love for him.

It was a lot easier said than done, of course. Glancing outside, she could see that it was getting darker, the sun probably completely disappeared from the sky leaving it in shades of purple. This way, doing it at night, no one would be able to interrupt them. Everyone was beginning to bed down for the night, but luckily Silverspot hadn’t yet. With a deep breath and a prayer to StarClan, she padded over to him.

“Silverspot,” She began, then stopped herself, surprised at how shaky her voice was. She cleared her throat and started again, “Silverspot, would you like to go on a walk? I know it’s getting late but I think it’d be nice.” Going on walks were kind of their thing, now that she thought about it. She liked it.

Tags;; LupTacco
Notes;; See You Again - Tyler, The Creator

[LupTacco]

Afternoon, sunset- Silverspot was never sure how to feel about that time of day. Noon was so pleasant- always warm, and it was the same backwards and forwards, if he thought about how it sounded, but the afternoon had all the prettiest colors, even if it was when the clan began to settle down for the day and send out its last regular patrols. The quiet that settled over the camp could sometimes be soothing, but often it felt a bit lonely to the light grey tom. Wonder if anyone else is lonely? He scanned the camp with bright, hopeful eyes, but a voice to his side made him swerve his gaze to its source.

His face lit up at seeing Honeywing there, but he tried to contain his excitement- it was nearly bedtime, after all. Still, his front paws pranced in place as he heard out her request. "Really? I think so too- that it would be nice! What'll we talk about this time- oh, surprise me actually!" a joyous purr lined his voice as he stood, his tail weaving in an 's'-shape. Brimming with energy now, he couldn't help but hop forward, raring to go, before his thoughts caught up with him and he planted his paws in the ground to come to a rough stop. Clearing his throat politely, he looked back at her with a look of silent apology and a small smile as he waited for her to begin their little journey side by side.

[GnawingOnIce]

Honeywing’s nervousness dissipated when Silverspot replied.

"Really? I think so too- that it would be nice! What'll we talk about this time- oh, surprise me actually!" You have no idea. The tortoiseshell she-cat brimmed with fondness at his eagerness and suddenly her insides unclenched. Then, afraid she was staring with a suspicious amount of admiration in her eyes, she blinked and turned to where he started toward the waterfall.

She smiled and bounded after him, brushing her side up against his with intent and allowed a small purr to bubble up in her chest. “Follow me.” Honeywing started out of the camp and began to follow the river.

Tags;; LupTacco
Notes;; n/a

[LupTacco]

Silverspot's whiskers twitched with amusement at her gaze- she stared so much sometimes! But he sometimes noticed it seemed like she stared at particular things more than others, and that lately he had become one of those things. As he wondered what it could mean, she turned and headed for the waterfall. Almost instinctively, he leaned against her every so lightly as he brushed by him, looking after her attentively as she continued forward. Like a string puppet being picked up, he seemed to somehow hop every paw just slightly off the ground for a moment as he obeyed her gentle command- "Follow me."

"Are we going somewhere secret? Er, but I already said to keep it a secret, didn't I? Sorry!," he couldn't help but speak his curiosities aloud as he adjusted his steps to match her pace, staying just a whisker's length slower than her. "It'll be a good place, I'm sure, no matter where it is. Good company makes anyplace... good," he hesitated awkwardly as better words slipped away from him. He felt a little more distracted than even usual.

[GnawingOnIce]

Honeywing listened to Silverspot fumble with his words as they left the camp with amusement and fondness in her eyes. Though she supposed it was a bit strange; she doesn’t think she’s ever seen him… what was it? Hesitate, be at a loss for words, perhaps? She wasn’t sure.

Glancing up at the moon, she saw it was a claw-shaped crescent sliced in the sky among the stars glittering above them. A clear night sky reflected in the river they were now walking beside. She turned to reply to Silverspot with a smile after a moment of just observing, “Perhaps. Maybe it’s nowhere in particular, just here, along the river… with you.” her chest began to dangerously ache. Her heart thrummed against her ribs, she could feel it, as she stared at the ground in front of her paws, slowing down her steps.

Honeywing prayed Silverspot didn’t notice her sudden anxiousness and worry, tucking her tail close near her back legs. Looking back at where they were, she saw them coming up to a tree whose roots rose above the soil here and there, thick and strong. She padded up to it and sat herself in a crook between the trunk and one of the big roots, curling her tail around herself. The river flowed steadily in front of her. She turned to Silverspot, beckoning him over with her tail. “Sit with me?”

Tags;; LupTacco
Notes;; n/a

[LupTacco]

Silverspot beamed back, "My favorite place! But, with you and not myself- I can't really walk beside myself. I tried once, though." Though the sun had almost set, it felt like it was still high above warming up his fur- what a curious feeling! He was usually full of words, so many words they would just tumble out of him at the slightest reminder, but he felt oddly collected just now. Instead, he hummed gently, mimicking the river next to them for a bit until Honeywing pulled away to rest under a tree.

He hesitated for a split second- Wonder why? Why wonder? She's wonderful, why am I waiting?- but quickly nodded, "Yes, of course. Sitting is as good as walking when you're with- uh, you." His lips tightened into a flat line for a moment as he tried again to think of why his wording was so extra-clumsy, but stopped as he caught her gaze, loosing them up into a slight smile as he stood stretched out so he could move in a tight circle to face out towards the river again and sit beside her. Admiring the scenery, it slowly donned on him that, for once, he didn't feel as antsy as he always was- he usually couldn't stand to sit still for even a moment, but right now not even his tail-tip was moving. In fact, the only part of him that seemed to be moving at all was his heart, which was going a little faster than normal. "Nice out...," he murmured, surprised at how quiet his own voice was as he watched the river sparkle in the orange sunset.

[GnawingOnIce]

Honeywing felt her skin flush hot under her fur at Silverspot’s words. How did it ever come to her getting flustered over a tom stumbling over his words to try and compliment her? Was he even trying to compliment her? Maybe he just wasn’t good at conversation; though she doesn’t ever remember him ever being bad at that.

But back to the chase. Staring out at the distorted pinks and oranges on the water, she felt him settle himself next to her. "Nice out...," she heard him barely speak above a whisper beside her. Now’s the time, Honeywing.

“Yes, it is.” she murmured back to him, just enough to be heard above the running water. She waited several moments before heaving a heavy sigh and and sitting up a little straighter, gaining more stiffness in her posture suddenly.

“Silverspot,” her voice was less relaxed than it was before, speaking a bit louder. She noticed with dread that her heart began beating like a jackhammer against her ribs, “there’s something I’ve been wanting to tell you.” Honeywing didn’t look back at him, afraid of what she might see.

“When… you’re around me, my heart,” she paused many times, forcing the words out of her at first, but eventually she just spilled it. “my heart beats so fast. And then, when you aren’t around, I can’t ever stop thinking about you. You make my chest ache, in the best way possible.” she dared to turn to face him, desperation with an odd mix of love fervent in her sapphire eyes.

“So… I-I’m in love with you, Silverspot. I really am.” Upon getting out her confession, Honeywing noticed her cheeks were wet with tears she hadn’t known she’d shed. She reached up with a paw to drag it over her eyes, sniffling.

“I’m sorry,” she let out a breathy laugh, a smile lacking confidence hidden behind her paw.

Tags;: LupTacco
Notes;; this is the most emotional thing I’ve ever written?? i got choked up writing it,,

[LupTacco]

As she spoke up, first his ear and then the rest of Silverspot's face turned to look at her curiously, listening closely as if she was the only thing left in existence until even the river sounded far away. Why wouldn't she look over, though? His heart ached as it beat faster than he could ever remember it before, faster even than the times as a child he had tried to find father by running around in the woods until he was too tired and Goldenmane or Meteorfall had to come find him. Growing anxious, though he wasn't sure why, he glanced back at the river in case there was something she was looking at and he just hadn't noticed it, but there wasn't anything new there.

"You make my chest ache, in the best way possible.”

"Oh, like-" Silverspot began, thinking of when he finally got to see Finchtongue again, or whenever he saw Honeywing sitting alone somewhere and couldn't stop himself anymore from wanting to talk to her. He stopped short as he looked back at her only to see tears in her eyes as she continued on, "So… I-I’m in love with you, Silverspot. I really am.”

All at once, he felt so many different emotions, too many to even begin to sort them out or make any sense of it all, pinning his ears down almost flat. "Th-thank you," he mumbled but realized it wasn't the right thing to say or even what he meant to say, his mind playing catch-up with how he felt. "I- me too, is what I was actually thinking of saying, but sometimes, not like how I usually do, when I talk to you my words get lost like I don't want them to, and-," he felt his face burn with emotion- love, embarrassment, worry- as an explanation tumbled out clumsily, "and that's okay! Because you always seem to know what I mean still, and what I mean is, I love you, also, too." Taking a second to catch his breath, his expression fell slightly. "B-but- is that... is that bad? You're crying,"  his voice lowered again, wrapping his tail around her side to try to comfort her from whatever must have upset her, even as his speech became stilted, "Can we cry, when we're happy? I think I am, but, I don't know, yet." He tried really hard not to, but he could feel warm tears in the corners of his eyes threatening to spill over, shoulders tense and pale blue eyes wide with uncertainty and concern.

ooc;; aaaaaaaa

tags;; GnawingOnIce

[GnawingOnIce]

Honeywing’s tears suddenly halted their flow once Silverspot began to explain how he had been, and still was, feeling.

"I- me too, is what I was actually thinking of saying, but sometimes, not like how I usually do, when I talk to you my words get lost like I don't want them to, and- and that's okay! Because you always seem to know what I mean still, and what I mean is, I love you, also, too.” If felt like a weight had been lifted off her chest. Silverspot loved her. He loved her!

The brightest smile lit up her face when she came to the realization, “No, no, it’s not bad at all! In fact, it’s wonderful!” A loud rumbling purr broke out in her chest and resonated in her throat. It only somewhat faltered when she noticed the silver tom had begun to cry as well. “Please don’t cry. I’m very happy, do not worry.” her voice softened as the softer side of Honeywing returned, the purr in her chest slowing as her heart returned to a steady beat once more. A smile still on her face, she leaned into Silverspot’s side, her eyes closing in content.

She stayed like that for a few long moments before opening her eyes again and pulling her head back to look at his face. “But, you are happy, too, right”?

Tags;; LupTacco
Notes;; my loves<33