[ti]Private[/ti]A Shoulder to Cry On

[silverfang218]

Nightfur was heartbroken. Just as she had been so many times before. She hasn’t heard from or seen Tansysong for several days now, and no one seems to know where Tansy went. Night’s mind immediately goes to the worst possible thing: she’s lost another of her kits. She doesn’t know exactly when or how, but just solid dread is forming in her stomach. She hasn’t told Finchtongue yet; she hasn’t told anyone yet. Instead, she’s been holding it all in until now.

She’s found herself a dark corner near the edge of camp, where she likely won’t be disturbed unless someone was specifically looking for her and thought to look everywhere. Once she’s found her cri corner, she curls up into a little dark colored ball and begins to cry. With no kits around her, needing her strength, Nightfur finally allowed herself to let loose and sob about all her lost kits, including her little Tansysong. She might not have been overly close to her daughter, but she still loved all of her kits dearly.

So lost was she in her own little fit of emotion that she didn’t hear a cat approaching her.

[Dofferz!]

"Nightfur?" he called, voice light and slightly nervous. Ravenwing had likely of been searching for the other warrior. It had been a bit since he had seen his friend, and she was nowhere in the obvious. Her scent trail never left the camp which meant she had to be somewhere behind the waterfall. But she wasn't in her nest nor enjoying a meal by the freshkill pile, and that worried him.He would duck inside of the nursery; perhaps she was checking up on her old den? Reminiscing on memories? But she wasn't there. Not there either.

But alas, in the dark of a corner, he managed to see a brief flash of movement. Blinking widely, the dark warrior leaped forwards. it was! "Nightfur!" he mrowled with a twitch of his whiskers, but his joyous mood quickly drained as he grew closer. "Wait.. are you crying..? Starclan! Are you alright? What's wrong?" comfort her.. how could he even do that? He didn't want to come off pressing her to speak, but he couldn't simply ignore her.. I mean, if you want to even talk about it.." Ravenwing drawled, using all of his bearing to not avert his gaze to his paws.

[silverfang218]

Nightfur’s ears perk up as she hears a voice calling her name throughout camp. Why now? It was only after the voice came closer did she recognize it as Ravenwing; Night’s heart lifts a bit at her dear friend’s voice. Of all the cats that could have been looking for her, she’s realizing that he’s the only one she wants to see right now.

The slender she-cat stands up from where she was curled into a sad fluffball and bounds over to Raven only to bury her nose into his shoulder floof. “I-I can’t find Tansysong and no one has seen her for a few days. I’ve lost almost all of my kits… where did I go wrong, Ravenwing? Why would StarClan give me kits if…. If I so clearly wasn't them.”

She lets her insecurities and sorrows pour out after having kept them all in for many moons. Sorry, Ravenwing, but you walked into this problem; Night has no mate, no one else to unload on. She presses her face to Raven’s shoulder harder; she feels bad for breaking down on the cat she calls her dearest friend, dearest enough to be called her mate if only she thought he would return the sentiment, but at the same time, who else can she trust with her tears?

[Dofferz!]

As she buried her nose into his fur, Ravenwing would offer her a quick swipe of his tongue behind her ear, this time not hesitating. At the mention of Tansysong, he grew rather surprised, honestly. He had never been too close to Nightfur's second kit, and therefore had hardly noticed the fact that she was missing, but as her words turned from losing just Tansysong to all of her other kits, Ravenwing knew that he had to choose his words wisely with the grieving mother. However, not being a father with the experience of raising and possibly losing kits was not a helping factor.

He was silent for a long while, trying his hardest to figure out.=, but as heartbeats felt like minutes, he had to say something. "I don't know what it's like to lose a child," he began slowly, "but I do know one thing, and that's that you are not a failure mother. I mean, it's been long, hard moons for everybody, and.." he drawled off, pretty much mentally kicking himself. Big breath in, and

"I don't think that any mother could possibly be stronger and more worthy of your kits than you had been. I mean, Starclan! You risked your life for them in the fire, during the earthquake. You carried them on your back all the way from the mountain!" hfrtiowBE "And we finally settle at a place to call home, but leafbare isn't the only thing that came. During the sickness, you still looked over them." wow, Doff really sucked at being motivational lmao help??

"No other cat could of done so much for her kits, Nightfur. You love them more than you love yourself, and that's the way a mother aught to be." surely that kinda had no way of accessing the fact that Tansysong was gone and that they kinda had to look for her, but hawk, it's a start.

[silverfang218]

Nightfur’s tears slow a bit as Ravenwing licks her ear with no hesitation. She snuggles closer in the silence he allows, wanting to just bury herself in the big tom’s fur forever and forget all her problems.

As Ravenwing begins to speak, the little sad sobs she was making stop as she listens. It certainly isn’t the best speech she’s ever heard, but it makes her feel better all the same. She also doesn’t think she can express her gratitude that he’s trying to make her feel better, even when her old mate wouldn’t stick around. Even though her and Ravenwing aren’t technically mates.

Time to change that.

She pulls back away from him, to look up into his deep blue eyes with her sharp green gaze, still teary with a bit of heartbreak still lingering inside. “Even Rubblespots left me.” She starts, an almost bitter tinge to her voice. He left her to raise their kits alone. Her voice softens, the bitterness turning into a stern, almost commanding tone though there is a thread of desperation running though her words, “Don’t you dare leave me, too, Ravenwing. If another mate runs off on me, I swear I’ll have to hunt you down myself.” The implication is clear; she sees Raven as her mate, and she has for a long while now, and StarClan save him if he ever tries to leave her side. She will drag him back to the clans by the ear if he leaves, and she’s more than capable of trailing him all the way to StarClan if need be. He’s better off if he stays right where he belongs.

[Dofferz!]

When Nightfur pulled back, he did too. Her eyes locked into his, and he stood there practically hypnotized. "Even Rubblespots left me." How painful was it to lose a mate? It aught to be hard enough if one were to pass, but how painful was it when he simply up and left as soon as the kits were born? And for what reason? “Don’t you dare leave me, too, Ravenwing. If another mate runs off on me, I swear I’ll have to hunt you down myself.” If another mate.

Was that what Nightfur considered him as? Her mate?

Ravenwing didn't know how to feel. Was he startled? Relieved? He knew how he felt, but he was nervous to show it because he knew that Nightfur liked him, but not if Nightfur liked him. Scared to come out and ruin whatever they had? But to hear it come from her own mouth from her own accord was heart rushing. Starclan, was he willing to settle down with the former queen? It was a choice he would never be able to take back, but he was willing to take the risk. Nightfur was his mate, and he would go through trees and rabbit burrows to follow after her should he have to. She wasn't ever gonna go anywhere without him by her side.

"I will never leave you, my love." Ravenwing would speak with confidence, never regretting a single word. And why should he? "Nightfur, you're stuck with me no matter what." have fun.

[silverfang218]

Nightfur didn’t know if she had made a mistake when she called Ravenwing her mate. They had never discussed it, and he had never admitted anything except friendship towards her. Even so, her gaze stayed intense and unwavering. There had not been a hint of doubt in her voice; she knows exactly what she wants from Ravenwing. She needs him.

There was a scary pause before he answered with confidence. The confidence made her smile through the unshed tears. The older she-cat slowly starts to pull herself together, drawing herself up and sitting up. Her voice settles into its usual strength; she mourns all her kits in the inside, but Nightfur knows that breaking down isn’t productive. They’ll all be waiting for her in StarClan, and when she gets there, they’ll all run and play together again. For now, she needs to move on, no matter how heartbreaking it is.

She blinks her tears away, taking a breath to compose herself the rest of the way. “You better not.” She mews, a stern note in her voice. If he goes back on that promise, he’ll have to deal with a force of nature so much worse than when he came back injured. Her fury will know no bounds. She gently leans against his chest, and her voice becomes soft, grateful. “Thank you, Ravenwing.”