[ti]Private[/ti]A Momma's Boy

[silverfang218]

It had been a while since Sootpaw had hung out with Frostheart. He had often snuck into her nest while they were ill together, but over the last couple moons, Sootpaw’s training has been keeping him busy. The snowy apprentice had made time for his second mom today, though; he strolls into the elder’s den dragging the biggest rabbit he could find on the freshkill pile.

He quickly scans the den with his good eye before his gaze settles on Momheart, and the little apprentice makes his way towards the young elder’s nest. Dropping the rabbit in front of Frostheart, he lets out a low purr and gently brushes her side with his tail. “Hey, mom. I brought you some freshkill.” He grins, hoping that he didn’t wake her up. Assuming she stays still enough for long enough, the lil boy starts to lovingly lick her head.

[Meow]

Frostheart hadn't felt her age since her illness had rendered her unable to continue with her duties. Her body rarely did what she wanted it to- what once was a strong, confident walk had turned into more of a stumble when she (rarely) decided to show herself out in the light of day, and her once deep, intelligent gaze was often glazed over. Even her mind, once full of thought, was often empty, with most complex ponderings quickly being wiped away by the cloud that seemed to hang around inside her head these days. At times, she even found herself forgetting her clan mates, something that had struck a deep depression inside the young elder. Everything she'd ever worked for seemed meaningless now. What once had been an ambitious, strong warrior was now just as frail as cats over three times her age.

For now, though, Frostheart wasn't being plagued by these dark thoughts. Instead, she was simply laying down in her nest, dull eyes glazed over like two small, icy lakes. The she-cat had allowed herself to fall into a bit of a trance; her mind was empty, and the world around her had faded into nothing. When Sootpaw approached her, Frostheart didn't seem to register his voice at first. His licking, however, roused the young elder, a bit of awareness returning to her gaze as she lifted her head. Frostheart squinted her eyes at the apprentice, taking in his white fur, as well as the rabbit he'd brought for her. "Soot..." Frostheart murmured warmly, a tiny smile gracing her expression as she looked to her adoptive son. "Sootkit... it's so nice to see you again, dear," Frostheart purred, stretching out her neck to give him a gentle lick on the cheek. "It feels like it's been a while since I last saw you... you're getting so big."

[silverfang218]

Sootpaw lets out another soft, happy purr as Frostheart recognizes him and greets him warmly. He grins widely as she licks his cheek, before making sure that the rabbit is within easy reach for her and settling down by her side, pressing his pelt against hers. “It’s nice to see you too, momma.” He purrs; the white fluff had never called Silverfang mom, as she said would be strange for one to call a medicine cat mom. Frostheart was always real mom.

“It’s been too long,” He admits, feeling a hard pit of guilt settle in his stomach for not coming to see Frostheart more often. “And I’m an apprentice now, mom.” He purrs, nuzzling her cheek and acting like it just happened. He didn’t want Momheart to feel bad for forgetting that he had a new name! “I’ll come by more often, hopefully. Assuming my mentor doesn’t fill up my day.” Sootpaw smiles, nuzzling his mother’s cheek as he sets that as a goal for himself. Come see Momheart every day, if at all possible. “Don’t forget to eat; if you don’t eat something, I’ll have to go tell Silverfang. And you know how she can get.” He purrs in a teasing manner. Silverfang is such a docile cat, but she will come unglued if she thought Frost wasn’t eating enough. Probably would come force feed poor Frost herself.

[Meow]

Frostheart's purr rumbled deep in her chest as the apprentice settled in beside her, his warm, fluffy pelt brushing against her own. Now that she was no longer leader, the she-cat never held back in showing favoritism among her clan mates- her love for her family was what had kept her here, after all. There was no reason to be cold, or to shy away from Sootpaw's affection. With what little life she might have left, she would be the gentle, loving mother the young tom never had in his kithood.

...of course, she still couldn't shower Silverfang with words of love whenever she wanted to, but that wouldn't stop her from being excited when the other she-cat visited.

Frostheart seemed pleased at the news that Sootkit was Sootpaw, and that he had been working hard as an apprentice. "I'd like that- for you to visit more often," Frostheart murmured, returning his nuzzles and licks. "But... don't feel bad if you don't have time to come by. Nothing would make me happier than to see you become a strong, hardworking MistClan warrior." The she-cat's gaze briefly brightened at the idea, though the flash of happiness was gone in mere seconds as Sootpaw urged her to eat.

She glanced back to the plump rabbit the young tom had brought to her, feeling a bit queasy at the thought of even attempting to eat it. Frostheart didn't eat much these days- not that she needed to. Not when she spent most of her days in her nest. She didn't want Silverfang and Sootpaw to worry about her, though. "...oh, yes. This is for me, isn't it? How sweet of you to pick out something so nice for me," Frostheart mewed, the motherly smile returning to her face. The she-cat then leaned down to take a bite of the rabbit, making sure to fit as much in her mouth as she possibly could and swallowing before she could taste the tender meat.

Frostheart immediately felt the bile rising in her throat, though she continued to smile at Sootpaw. As long as he was here, she would hold herself together. "So... you're an apprentice now. Who's your mentor? Are they treating you well? Are the other apprentices being nice to you?" While her smile remained, Frostheart couldn't help expressing a bit of worry with the young tom's "new" rank. Apprenticeship was a complicated time in a cat's life, after all.

[silverfang218]

“Don’t worry, momma, I’ll be the best warrior I can be. I’ll make you proud.” Sootpaw promises. He’ll work hard enough to get all his chores done early and still have time to check up on Momheart every day or two. He smiles as his mother starts to eat a bit, hoping that she could get it down okay. He got a big enough piece of prey that he’ll even help her eat it; after she takes a bite, he leans down to grab a couple bites to eat too. He’ll obviously leave enough for Momheart to get her fill, though.

As Frost starts a rapidfire quiz game about his time as an apprentice, Sootpaw can’t hold back a chuckle. Of course Momheart is gonna be anxious to know about his apprenticeship thus far. He nuzzles her cheek again to reassure her before answering, “Frigidglow is my mentor; I think some cats find him rather annoying, and he’s really outgoing and optimistic but he’s nice enough.” Sootpaw’s just not gonna talk about his other mentors. Neither of his mothers need to know about him recently beginning to receive nightly training sessions in the Dark Forest. They would probably both die on the spot if he mentioned that.

“The other apprentices are kinda annoying really, but I think that’s just cuz I was so used to Silverfang all the time. She’s so cautious and quiet all the time, while most of the other apprentices are the opposite.” He muses; Sootpaw isn’t the type for making friends easily. He has always been more of a loner, and that has particularly been true after his glorious return from the wild; he doesn’t need friends, nope. He just needs moms.

[Meow]

Frostheart gave a quiet purr in response to his reassurance that he would make her proud, feeling her stomach settle with the warmth that spread through her chest at her son's determination. When Sootpaw leaned down to take a few bites, she urged herself to do the same, managing to swallow a few more scraps of meat. Frostheart's ears twitched as Sootpaw then went on to talk about his apprenticeship in an effort to answer her many questions.

The she-cat blinked at the mention of Frigidglow, vaguely recalling a Frigidpaw who had fit that description. If she still had the energy, she likely would have made a note to herself to track the warrior down later to see what kind of training he was putting Sootpaw through, though she would have to be satisfied with what Sootpaw told her. Perhaps, though, his would be one of the few names she wouldn't forget, in case he decided to slack off with her adoptive son- somehow, she'd find the strength to teach him a lesson if he ever wronged her Sootpaw. "As long as he's doing a good job of teaching you, then I'm sure he's okay," Frostheart commented sweetly.

Then, as Sootpaw spoke about how annoying the other apprentices were, the she-cat let out a warm, quiet chuckle. "Young ones are a pawful. I think growing up in a big litter causes most apprentices to be somewhat rowdy," Frostheart murmured, pushing the rabbit away from herself as more bile rose in her throat. "My mother..." The she-cat paused for a moment, her smile falling a bit as the name and face of her mother seemed to be a blur in her mind. Her name... had something to do with water, right? "...she was... very soft-spoken and gentle. She couldn't leave her nest, so I... I believe I spent a lot of my time by her side, away from the other kits. Transitioning to the apprentices' den was so strange! They were all so loud and playful. I wasn't sure what to do with myself," Frostheart mewed, giving Sootpaw a strained smile. "They'll probably annoy you quite a bit. But... it's that liveliness that keeps the clan hopeful, even in its darkest times."

[silverfang218]

Sootpaw looks pretty satisfied as Frostheart takes a few more bites. She is likely safe from Silverfang’s fluffy wrath for the time being. Most likely. Sootpaw nods with a sweet smile, happy that Frostheart seems to somewhat approve of his living mentor. He can only imagine what would happen if he told her about Spottedheart, his Dark Forest mentor… she’d probably fall over dead on the spot.

His ear twitches as Frost chuckles at his thoughts on the other apprentices, as he suspected she might. He has always been considered different than the other apprentice. He’s been a lot more mature from the start, having spent most of his time around the medicine cat or leader, and that’s not to mention his eye-opening experiences with Shadowgaze. His outward expressions and words have always been nothing short of pessimistic around his clanmates, though he’s more optimistic on the inside and when he’s with Shadowgaze. Even so, he stands out among the eager, rowdy apprentices.

He nods as she mentions that larger litters create rowdy apprentices, hearing some truth in that. His expression becomes somewhat concerned as Frostheart seems to stumble on the subject of her mother; Sootpaw is far from as sharp as Silverfang, but he still notices the struggle. Mental note made: ask Silverfang about Frostheart’s mother, at least ask her name.

He returns the strained smile, a bit of sorrow is evident in his expression at seeing his adopted mother, who used to be so sharp, struggle so yet his heart lifts as he hears that they’ve had some shared experience. It makes him feel closer to Frost, somehow. He nods at her last sentence as well, knowing it’s true. If there isn’t at least one person throwing optimism around, then everyone’s gonna be sad.

[Meow]

Frostheart hummed in the silence that followed her words. Though the smile remained on her lips, she was growing exhausted by the effort of speaking to Sootpaw, and she felt as if she wouldn't be able to hold her meal in much longer. She wished she could pass on more of her thoughts to her son, more of the lessons she'd learned in her short life, but she only wanted to do so if she could keep her dignity in front of him. It was time for her to rest, and time for him to get back to more important matters.

"I'm very grateful for the time you've spent with me. It gets so lonely in here sometimes," Frostheart mewed, nuzzling his cheek once more. "But... perhaps you should run along now- I'm getting a bit sleepy." Frostheart purred as she quickly covered his cute face in licks, knowing she'd miss him. "You'll tell Silverfang I'm still doing okay, won't you?"

[silverfang218]

Sootpaw purrs softly as Momheart nuzzles his cheek; he would love nothing more than to lay here basking in his adopted mother’s love for the rest of forever, bonus points if Silverfang came in here and buried them both with her fluff. Even so, he doesn’t want to stay and bother her rest… though he takes a moment to just bask in the loving nuzzles and licks showered upon him. Seeing that she is likely done with her food, he reluctantly pulls himself to his paws, after she’s done loving all up on him of course, and drags the rabbit over to one of the other elder’s nests. Can’t let it go to waste and all apprentices are supposed to make sure the elders, queens, and kits have food before they get any. He got plenty for now.

He returns to her side to give her a few gentle licks on the head. “I’ll be back tomorrow.” He promises, “And I’ll tell Silverfang… but she’ll probably still come to check on you herself. I don’t think she trusts my word.” He chuckles. Oh no, Silver always has to see that her secret mate is doing fine with her own two eyes. Well, doing fine is subjective, but still.

“Get some sleep, mom,” he purrs softly before turning and padding out of the den. His visit is over; now he should join a hunting patrol to catch something for both his mothers tomorrow.

[Meow]

“I will, don’t worry,” she murmured in answer, a tight smile on her face at the mention of ‘tomorrow’.

Frostheart quietly watched the boy leave, a gentle smile remaining on her face until his pale pelt was no longer in sight, gone in the blur that had taken over her vision. With her son gone, the bile in her throat would hold itself back no more, and the pale elder heaved violently as the rabbit meat refused to remain in her stomach, making a mess of her nest and decorating the cave floor it rested on. Then, panting heavily, the she-cat let her head fall to her nest, the exhaustion from the short conversation washing over her like a powerful wave. Frostheart screwed her eyes shut as the always-present pain in the back of her neck shot through her head, causing her to grit her teeth, trying to silently will the pain away.

Frostheart remained like that for what seemed like an eternity as the pain slowly ebbed away, until she was finally left stretched out in her nest, chest heaving as if she’d just finished being chased by a hungry bobcat.

Slowly, the she-cat cracked open her eyelids, the low light of the cave illuminating the faces of several concerned elders as they took in the sight of Frostheart’s suffering. Her eyes, though, didn’t meet those of her living clan mates. Rather, they focused on the silvery forms of the starlit cats who stood behind them, all with faces she felt she should remember, but few she could name. One in particular stood just a few tail-lengths away, her pretty blue eyes darkened with sadness, her pale pelt a mirror of Frostheart’s own. Frostheart’s eyes widened at her otherworldly beauty, entranced by the sight.

“I’m sorry,” the snow-white cat whispered. Frostheart thought she could see little stars brimming in the corners of the cat’s eyes. Was she sad? What… was she sorry for?

“It’s… okay,” Frostheart croaked, her voice like an echo in her own ears as she voiced her confused forgiveness to the shimmering warrior. The other cat’s expression only grew more despaired, as if no words would be able to soothe her now. The answering silence from the other cat as she fought back her emotions only confirmed this. “...are you from StarClan? You… have stars in your fur.”

A simple nod answered her as the StarClan warrior closed her eyes. “Yes. And… so do you, Frostheart.”

Frostheart blinked, before lowering her gaze. There were… stars twinkling on her paws. “...oh… how… pretty...” Frostheart’s words were mere breaths as her eyes began to droop, the beautiful light only growing more intense on her own pelt. The tips of her claws seemed to shimmer as if each one contained its own vast galaxy, and every lock of fur its own glittering star. Frostheart’s eyes seemed to dance with the silver light, the gaze behind them growing distant as the call of StarClan sounded to her from a place she’d only walked in her dreams.

“We’ve come for you, my dear.”