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[silverfang218]

Shadowpaw had been resting in the medicine cat den after returning to IvyClan; I pity the cat that had to keep Wildpaw off of Shadow long enough for the battered apprentice to rest. Sootkit slept peacefully at Shadowpaw’s side, all worries relieved with the promise that he’d see Silverfang again soon. Shadowpaw, on the other paw, is used to getting little sleep and being on constant alert. Sleep, though needed, isn’t coming to the restless apprentice any time soon. It wasn’t as if he wasn’t trying though; Shadow is lying down with his eyes closed… until he hears soft pawsteps approaching the den. The young cat cracks open an eye while curling his tail around Sootkit subconsciously. While his logic tells him that he is safe with his clanmates, his immediate response is still to be wary. No, rather is first response is to immediately leap into action to defend his lil kitten buddy. Shadow is more than intelligent enough to know he wouldn’t stand a chance against another cat in his current state, though; while Sootkit had only been a bit on the thin and terrified side, Shadowpaw had returned mostly starved and beaten up. It’s a good thing that he is in no danger while surrounded by his clanmates.

His violet eyes open completely and a happy grin appears on the young cat’s face as he recognizes his mentor while his apprehension and tenseness quickly fades away. It had been so long since he had seen her… he feels bad that he left her alone for so long. After all, he told her that he would be the best apprentice ever and yet he left her likely believing that he was dead. That’s not being a very good apprentice!

“I’m happy to see you again, Owlstar. I’m sorry I was gone for so long, but I’m back now. I hope you ain’t mad-” He starts before she even has a chance to open her mouth with a slightly concerned tone at the thought that Owl might be mad at him, but no. Owlstar was probably too worried about him to be mad, wasn’t she? After all, Owl should know that it wasn’t his intention to go missing. The young cat’s raspy voice changes to a bit more light-hearted tone while his expression reverts to a more mischievous look. “But I also hope you didn’t think you had gotten rid of me that easily; after all, you promised me a hunting lesson. You better not back out on that promise! Though it might have to wait for a lil bit… I promised Sootkit that I’d get him back to MistClan. That has to come first.” He’d take a warrior or perhaps Wildpaw with him to show him where the MistClan camp is, but Shadowpaw is determined that the moment he feels good enough to walk that far, he will take Sootkit back to Silverfang himself.

[M'Lady]

When she heard the murmurs of excitement and disbelief, she'd grilled her warriors into telling her what was so interesting. With gasps and wide eyes, she finally concluded that Shadowpaw had found his way back home, to the clan that had left him for dead. Her own eyes slowly widened, luminous yellow hues filled with doubt at the claim. But she was told he was in the medicine den, sleeping, and she'd taken off like a hawk pulling itself into the air. Fast.

As she neared the den, she slowed in her step, keeping her paws quiet as she walked. He'd be sleeping, she just wanted to make it was him, that he wasn't hurt, that he was really okay and here with them. When she entered the den, and saw his eyes looking back at her, she gasped herself. Oh, it was him. He was here and alive and he was smiling. How could he be smiling? She took the clan to a new home, yes, but she left him. She left her apprentice, the kit she promised to watch after and never abandon. Shame clawed at her heart. How could he be so happy to see her? And then he spoke, and her worry morphed into disbelief. She couldn't possibly be mad! He should be the one that was mad! He continued to speak, and Owlstar, for the first time in her life, couldn't find words to respond. She caught his mischievous tone, but his words went right through her. She could still hardly believe he was here, after all.

She moved almost instantly, once she had gotten her bearings once again. She moved to his nest, hopping right in and careful to avoid Sootkit, and then curled a paw around the small skinny apprentice and tugged him close into her fluffy fur. He was just so small, it absolutely broke her heart. The poor thing took care of a kit, and himself, barely more than a kit. He had hunted, he had fought, and he had walked until his muscles burned and his eyes dulled. Her little apprentice, her little Shadowpaw, had already gone through so much and she had been nowhere to help him. She huffed, ears pinned back and eyes filled with some unknown emotion. "You little rascal, why would I ever want to be rid of you?" She told him sternly, her voice betraying her worry despite her intent not to. "What kind of mentor would I be if I gave up?"

[silverfang218]

Shadowpaw is a tad surprised at the shocked expression on Owl’s face as she saw him. The surprise only lasted a moment though; after all, he himself had felt hopelessness during his own journey countless times, and in his heart, he believes that StarClan lead him back to his clan. It shouldn’t be surprising that his clanmates thought him dead, not when he thought that he was going to die so many times.

The small apprentice lets out a quiet purr as Owlstar plops down next to him and pulls him close. Shadow didn’t know how he expected Owl to respond to his return, but he is quickly realizing that this is how he wanted her to respond. He nuzzles into her long fur, taking comfort in its warmth.

“Well it’s a good thing you just can’t get rid of me then. After all, I told you that I was gonna be the best apprentice. You are already the best mentor ever; I gotta keep my promise too.” He purrs, “So you don’t have to worry about me anymore, okay Owlstar? Cuz I was strong this time.” Shadow puffs out his chest a bit. He was strong this time, wasn’t he? Not like during the fire, when others had to rescue him. No, during the earthquake, he help Sootkit. Just like he promised Aspenkit during his apprentice ceremony. From now on, Shadowpaw has to try to be strong.

[M'Lady]

Her own purr rumbled in her chest, and she squeezed her eyes shut. With her eyes closed, it didn't feel like he was battered, beaten, just coming home after what seemed like forever to a place he was unfamiliar with. No, it felt like those nights in her den, where the tiny kits would invade and sleep on top of her, the only sounds that of cicadas and soft breaths. She realized right here, right now, that she would die time and time again before she let Shadowpaw be taken away from her again.

"Of course," She told him, touching her nose to the top of his head. "You were incredibly strong, Lionclan themselves would be proud of you." She hummed with certainty, though she then scoffed softly. "But don't ever think that I'm going to stop worrying about you. The entire clan is my family, and you are certainly one of my more mischievous kits. Sneak off again and I'll cuff you on the ears." Owlstar joked quietly, though she couldn't really bear ever seeing him leave again. He'd managed to worm his way into her heart, that sly fox, what was she to do? "What do you say, as soon as you get better, we go for that hunting training? Or if you're not feeling up to it yet, we can go to the new nursery and play with the kits? You and Wildpaw still owe me a game, don't you?"

[silverfang218]

“Well then I’ll just have to be strong enough that I prove you don’t have to worry about me.” Shadowpaw doesn’t want Momstar to worry, so he’ll prove that she doesn't have to! If LionClan were proud of him, then surely he can prove that he can take care of himself. “And you gotta catch sneaking out in order to punish me… but I think I’ll try to stick pretty close from now on.” The tiny cat lets out a nervous chuckle. Even the thought of straying too far makes him feel ill. Until he learns the territory well, it’s unlikely Shadow will be straying to far from his clanmates for fear of getting lost. He shifts uncomfortably and pushes further into Owl’s fur, knowing that if he is cuddled up in her fur, he isn’t lost.

At the promise of training and a game with the kits, Shadowpaw’s tense nervousness fades away some. “I’ll be ready to train soon!” He promises, “I’ve been practicing my hunting skills, but I think they could still use some work.” He is a good enough hunter to feed a kit, yet unable to score enough catches to feed both Sootkit and himself. Work definitely needs to be done with that.

“I still bet you that me and Wildpaw can beat you at mossball any day!” He squeals like a kit, his raspy voice filling back up with joy. Everything will go back to normal, more or less. At least, that’s what Shadowpaw is going to try to make happen. He’s gonna try his best to put this whole thing behind him; for now, he’s content to bask in the warmth of Owl’s fur.

[M'Lady]

"You'll be the best hunter in the clan when I'm done with you." She told him, feeling certain with her answer. Owlstar was clever, but she wasn't the best battler out there. But stars, she could hunt. Her steps were as silent as a cold winter's day, she could catch a mouse without the sensitive creature not even knowing she was there. Just like her namesake, she was quiet and deadly. "I'll teach you all I know, as long as you don't go spilling my secret techniques to Wildpaw." She teased him, poking him lightly in the stomach with her paw. Her father used to do that to her, when she was just a wide eyed kit in the nursery shouting that she'd be leader of the clan someday. Well, here she was.

She huffed at his accusation, eyes narrowed slightly in apprehension. "You think you could defeat me, the champion of moss ball? I doubt it! It'll take you at least another moon of training before you two can even come close." The leader jested, curling her tail so it rested atop Shadowpaw's pelt. "You're welcome to try, but you'll have to get the whole of the nursery on your side before you can even have a chance." She mused, and glanced over at the snoozing Sootkit by Shadowpaw's other side. "Maybe you can recruit your little friend there, too, before he has to go home."

[silverfang218]

Shadowpaw grins at the thought of being a great hunter like Owlstar. “I won’t,” He promises, though any cat with brains knows that if ever Wildpaw or Shadowpaw either one is taught something cool, the first thing they are going to do is teach the other. That’s just… that’s just what’s gonna happen. Besides, Shadowpaw will never be much good in a fight. His intelligence will only get him so far, as his growth is likely permanently halted from his hardships. The tiny cat may be able to scratch and claw at an opponent, but he just won’t be strong enough to do much damage. There will be no way for him to knock opponents over or pin them down, as his size just won’t allow him that much power. He may be able to chase reluctant enemies off, but he will never win a straight up fight.

So, if he can’t be good at fighting, he’ll have to be good at hunting. Shadowpaw is fine with this; if he does get lost again, hunting is the biggest skill that will help him stay alive. The only reason him and Sootkit made it this far at all is because Barkfur kind of taught Shadowpaw the very basics of hunting already, back when little Shadow was a kit.

At her declaration that Shadow and Wild could never beat her, Shadowpaw’s eyes turn sly again. He knows there is little chance that they can beat her fairly but… he’ll have to just think of a way to cheat. Shadowpaw is totally okay with playing dirty and he’s clever. He very well may have tried something similar in the past.

At her gesture towards Sootkit, Shadowpaw’s tail curls around his small friend. “I’m sure he won’t be too hard to convince.” Shadow mews with a smile. He’s sure that Sootkit would love to play with them; him and the little guy had spent some time playing together at the beginning of their trek back to the clans, back when they still had energy to spare. It might take a day or two before Shadowpaw feels like playing much, but Sootkit will be all over him at that point.

Though their cute back and forth is cut short by something that Shadowpaw had been meaning to ask. Owlstar didn’t look so good when Lionbelly was trying to pull her from the water. I didn’t see the whole thing, but I’ve been wanting to ask if she got hurt ever since I saw that. “Hey Owlstar,” he mews softly, a slightly more serious and even concerned tone creeping into his voice even though he was asking about events that felt like they took place an eternity ago. “Did you get hurt during the earth shake? You didn’t look so good… are you okay now?”

[M'Lady]

All the warmth she had been feeling, all the hope she had knowing that her apprentice was home, vanished with a single question that he asked. Owlstar felt that she had been dropped in the snow during the middle of leafbare. She froze. Her fur prickled around her scruff, and a slight frown came to her face. She didn't want to say a word, she couldn't say a word. No one knew, save for Larkbeat, that Owlstar had lost her first life that day. 

It had been an awful experience. 

Drowning. Weighed down by her own fur, cold to the bone. Water filled her throat and her lungs, burning despite the fact that it felt like ice. She couldn't breathe, she couldn't shout, she could barely swim against the current. The water slammed her into stone, and she gasped despite the fact she no longer had a voice to give. Pain laced through her back, her limbs. 

Yellow eyes flickered with unease, as she unconsciously curled tighter around the apprentice. Her frown flickered into a smile, a sheepish one. "It's nothing to worry about," She told him, her words to convince herself just as much as Shadowpaw. 

Growing darkness, starting at the edges of her vision and swirling inward. Black. Heavy. Pain. Then, a light grew into existence. She gasped for breath, and found that it was there. She staggered, leaves soft under her paws, and lifted her gaze up to see Spiderfang, giving her a small, sad smile. Next to him, was a mirror image of herself, looking solemn and transparent. She took a step back, and another, and another. 

"I'm just, a little uneasy in the water, that's all." She hummed, pinning her ears back against her head. "I've never been the best swimmer, my fur is too long and thick, it just drags me down." 

Another step, she tripped and fell back. Darkness again. Pain in her lungs. She coughed, and coughed, and coughed. Hacking up water, opening blurry vision to see the familiar tabby pelt of her deputy and the ground beneath her weak paws. She knew, she didn't have to be told, and she knew. She could feel the empty space where a life had been torn away from her. 

"I suppose I just got a bit frightened, but don't even think about it, Shadowpaw. It was in the past, and we're here now. Together, and safe." 

[silverfang218]

Shadowpaw watches her reaction to his question; the fact that she froze for a moment, the frown that she tries to hide by making it into a smile, her ears going back against her head. If it was truly not anything for him to worry about, then she wouldn’t have reacted that way. When Shadowpaw responds, he does so in a serious tone. It’s not so unlike the tone he would use when elders or warrior threatened or yelled at Wildpaw when him and his buddy were little kits, but now it holds a moon’s worth of serious experiences. Shadowpaw may be barely more than a kit, but his eyes look more like they belong to a warrior. A warrior who has seen some stuff.

“I know you probably won’t want to talk to me about things, either cuz you are afraid that I’ll worry about you, or I just won’t understand because I’m just an apprentice. Maybe I won’t understand, I dunno, but you can talk to me, ya know. Cuz I’m gonna worry about me just like you said that you’ll worry about me. I’m not a little kit like I was before the earth shake. So you don’t have to tell me that ‘it’s nothing to worry about’ and try to brush it off when it is clearly something that upset you. On the other paw, if ever you feel comfortable enough and want to learn how to swim, I could teach you. Only if you are comfortable with it and want to, though.”

He didn’t know that she had lost a life in the raging waters, but he saw her get hit by a rock before he hopped in to save Sootkit. He had leapt into the waters just after Lionbelly had.

But, he decides not to dwell on that unless Owlstar decides to elaborate on what happened. After all, there’s lots of stuff he’s gonna be afraid of that he likely won’t want to elaborate on. He’s probably gonna be holding back panic when he gets out of sight from the camp for the first few times. “But you’re right, we are safe here. No water or foxes to get us here.” He lets the ‘fox’ thing slip without realizing it. Oops. Either way, he leans up and licks Owlstar on the nose, trying to cheer her up.